Boy Moms Still Rock

I am certain that moms of all girls don't hear or see the following things that I have seen and heard over the last few days:

1. Mason (yelling): "Mom - come feel how cold my butt is."
2. This morning three of my boys (Blake included) had a Vicks Vapor Rub fight. They then tried to eat breakfast, but everything had an odd, minty aroma.
3. After taking all three boys to the doctor, we were headed for the door (finally!) and just when I thought we were all out the door, Mason remembered he hadn't chosen a sticker from the little basket. Max was crying, Marcus was impatient and Mason decided to take his time and browse through E-V-E-R-Y sticker. Marcus got irritated and left just as Mason paused...and passed some very loud gas. And as if that wasn't enough, he looked up and sighed a very long, loud "Ahhhhhh" of relief. I thought the entire waiting room was going to lose it. Fortunately I was wearing my "Boy Moms Rock" t-shirt. At times like that, it illicits a certain amount of understanding and sympathy from onlookers.
4. My van always stinks. Between Mason's crumbs and candy goo, Max's crackers and cheerios and Marcus' "teenager-ness" my van reeks. Boys smell bad.
5. I absolutely love my boys.

Family Christmas

Though there were several family gatherings over the last several days, my family celebrated Christmas at our house on Friday. Max had become a pro at opening presents by this time, and I enjoyed watching his expressions with each new package. Mason got a Shooting Gallery game from Uncle Johnny that was probably his favorite toy this year. It's like something from a carnival...complete with the noise, thank you John. My niece, Josie, wanted boots with fur and my mother and I spent two entire days combing Wichita looking for a pair in her size...mission accomplished, and she looked so cute in them at church Sunday. Here are a few snapshots of the festivities...

An attempt at a family portrait

Mason handcuffing Aunt Donna

Marcus loves Toby Mac and Dark Chocolate!
Max opening another gift

Ranting

It's only 10 am and I have two things to rant about. First - one of the buttons on my favorite pair of jeans came off. But - since they're button fly jeans, I'm gonna chance it and see just how drafty it is anyway. Trust me...any incidents arising from this test will pale in comparison to other adventures around here. Second -


Funniest thing I've heard yet today (but remember - it's only 10 am)...
Mason: "Mom, feel how cold my butt is."

Christmas Season Observations

Here are a few things I've observed or learned this Christmas season...

1. When you open the gift you win in the preschool Christmas gift exchange and throw it down exclaiming, "I DON'T LIKE THIS", your father will haul your little behind out of the room in a jiffy! (This was NOT Mason - in case you were wondering.)



2. People riding in those Little Rascal scooters may be disabled, but I quit feeling sorry for them after a lady repeatedly bumped my friend Lindsay's ankles as she shopped on Black Friday. She had a $10 toaster oven in her sites, and everyone better get outta the way!



3. According to Mason, baby Jesus received Gold, Frankincense and Murder from the Wise Men.



4. Even kids feel the effects of the holiday season. After being instructed to pick up his toys, Mason informed us that he couldn't because he was feeling sluggish. Sluggish? What 5 year old uses that word?



5. The Christmas season also means final exams for students. Unfortunately, Marcus (Freshman) thought that finals were something like those standardized tests the schools periodically administer. Fortunately - his first day of finals was very light and he quickly figured out that he'd made a bad, bad mistake. There was A LOT of studying on Monday night! And just to clarify - he was at his mom's house. I NEVER would have let something like that happen. Yeah right.



6. Apparently babies enjoy dog chew-bones as much as their canine companions. In fact, Max is so generous that he even lets the dog chew for awhile - and when Rush gets bored or Max runs out of generosity - Max takes it back and chews some more. YUCK!



7. The little girls in Mason's class don't need mistletoe as a prompter to kiss my son. In fact - Mrs. Reimer ended up having a class meeting (yes - a preschool class meeting) to inform the girls that they should stop kissing Mason Baysinger.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Life As A Boy Mom

A few weeks ago I got a t-shirt that says, "Boy Moms Rock". Any mom that has only sons - no daughters - appreciates this t-shirt to the core. Mason is so proud of the shirt and points at my chest to complete strangers saying, "Look...Look". Anyone that gets past the initial shock of a boy pointing at his mother's chest while saying, "Look...Look" appreciates the wording on the shirt all the more.

Today my three sons and I ventured to Target. We went in with the simple plan of buying a few more ornaments for the tree. We ended up with a new toaster, a tube of Spongebob toothpaste, two boxes of Kleenex, four items that Max grabbed from shelves that we apologetically gave back to the check-out lady, and a pack of bubble gum. A ring toss game, sneaked into the cart by Mason, was also given back. I couldn't even remember why we were at Target until I came home and saw the half-dressed tree. These kids wear me out.

We plan to see my dad on Saturday at our big family Christmas party. After Max's bath tonight, I was trying to get him to say "Papa Jim". Guess what? My precious 10 month old said "Papa" plain as day...several times! I sure hope he'll say it on Saturday, because there will be an awfully proud papa ready to hear it.

Catching Up

I have no excuses for not blogging other than those common to every single busy mom in the world. So, without further ado - here are some high points from the last month in the Baysinger house...

1. Max is a goat in a baby's body. Seriously, the child will eat ANYTHING. Most odd, though, is his taste for dog food. If I leave the dog's bowl unattended for a second, Max has at least three pieces in his mouth. YUCK! He seems to love it. Blake's mom said that her son, Larry, used to do the same thing. Finally - something to blame on Blake's genes!
2. Mason has started a harem. He came home from school awhile back announcing that he has 4 wives. He followed that comment with, "But don't tell my church friends". Seriously! Today he told me that one of the wives kissed him while they were riding the bus back to school from gymnastics. This is escalating, as one of the other wives kissed him three times during music last week. My poor little boy - he's such a victim. Yeah right. Again - blaming Blake's genes.
3. Marcus has entered the entitlement zone. He's convinced that his life is horrible, he has no privileges, and his parents don't understand anything he's going through. This mindset has earned him a spot on the youth mission trip to Mexico this summer. Then we'll see if his definition of privilege remains the same. Gotta love the teenagers.
4. Would love to post more, but "Max the goat" is on the prowl and I haven't vacuumed since Friday! Hey - that gives me an idea. Why vacuum at all? I could just turn Max loose and..
   

Family Secrets

A few weeks ago, I picked Mason up from our church's Wednesday night children's program. They had made trees with leaves showing things they were thankful for. One of Mason's leaves had the name of his new Aunt Mindy. He went on to explain that he'd told the class about Aunt Mindy getting pregnant on her honeymoon! Great.

First - Aunt Mindy did NOT get pregnant on her honeymoon. There were at least two weeks between the two events! Second -

Parent Teacher Conferences

We had parent teacher conferences for Mason's preschool class last week. I think I was more nervous for this conference than I was when my parents used to go to mine. This is what we found out:

1. According to his teacher, Mason is the class "stud". When they are placed boy-girl-boy-girl, Mason sits with his arms around the two girls on either side of him.


2. Mason is one of only two boys in the class that can skip. Apparantly being able to skip at this age is huge because it means something about synapses and right brain/left brain . Whatever...he's a genius.


3. His teacher told us that if she's ever sick, Mason could successfully run the class on his own.


4. Mason has the attention span of a flea. This we knew.


5. Mason's left eye sometimes drifts toward his nose when he concentrates. This we didn't know.


6. He's a master rhymer. Unfortunately - if he can't think of a real word, he makes up his own word. For instance, did you know that kouse rhymes with house?


7. He knows his absurdly long home address, but couldn't say his phone number. We asked her which one she asked for because he calls his parents' cell phones SEVERAL times every day! I guess he just never calls himself.


8. He's the cutest kid in the class...oh wait - maybe she didn't say that.

Evolution is a Joke

Listen folks, if evolution were a reality, mothers would have 6 arms. Leaving Bible study last week I was carrying my book bag, my purse, the diaper bag, Max and his carrier. Mason had a bag of Skittles. He finished them as we were walking to the van and said, "Mom, would hold my trash?" I didn't know whether to crack up (laughing, not mentally) or whack him with ... oh wait - I didn't have a free hand. I bet octopus mothers are the best mothers because they have all those arms!

Along the same lines, I went to the Christian book store yesterday to pick up some mugs for my precious Women's Ministry team members. I was so excited about the trip. I love the store, and look forward to every trip. I had both of the younger boys with me, but my joy remained! I picked up my mugs, and since I had a coupon, I picked up a bunch of other junk I didn't need because of the coupon. Mason shoved something at me and began the begging routine. Since I had the coupon, and it was only 99 cents, I agreed. Unfortunatley, when we got back in the van I discovered I had bought him one of those giant punching balloons. Dang it! In the van Max began to scream, I couldn't find the van key and Mason kept shoving the balloon at me wanting it blown up. Can't you just imagine pulling up beside us in the parking lot? I broke the law and left them in the van as I opened the door (5 feet away) and asked if my key was on the counter...it was. I fixed Max a bottle and he quieted down, then I blew up the balloon. Mistake! All the way home my precious firstborn whacked me in the back of the head with the thing. Thunk, Thunk, Thunk, Thunk. If I'd only had a FREE HAND, he might have received a thunk himself!

Blogger's Block

My sweet buddy Sharon was suffering from Blogger's Block awhile back and took the opportunity to reflect on the early years of her marriage. I seem to be having a bit of the block myself, so all 3 readers of my blog will, today, get to find out how I met my incredible man.

It was 1996, and Blake was on every TV in Kansas about 140 times per day! He was so famous. He had dated one of my good friends for awhile, but I never met him while they dated. Now I'm suspicious that she kept me away from him because she secretly understood that we were meant for each other!

I was supposed to be working, but I hated my job and used every opportunity I could to get out of that place. I went to his store to check out a cell phone that I didn't really need and couldn't really afford, and wouldn't you know it - "THE" Blake Baysinger was in the store and was the salesman that helped me. After informing me that Jennifer was his favorite name, I was hooked. Admittedly - I was starstruck. I bought the phone and every accessory and additional service offered. But unfortunately - there was a problem with my activation so (darn it) I had to go back to the store. This is where my version and Blake's version part ways. He claims I stalked him - I claim I didn't. He asked me to see about rounding up some of those small phone books, because their dealer was out. I took it seriously and followed up...what else did I have to do? It's not like I was gonna work at my real job! So when I came back to report that I couldn't find any of the phonebooks THAT HE SENT ME LOOKING FOR he deduced I was a stalker...who he promptly asked out to dinner. I think he's just jealous because his son Marcus has the Chex Mix Stalker, and he wants a stalker of his own! Ha!

We hit it off like crazy and, other than a few blips here and there, dated for about 2.5 years before getting married. Oh...and I ended up getting fired from the job I hated because I went to Cancun when Blake took his whole company as a reward. Can you believe that? My boss just didn't seem to understand my priorities. Actually...I guess he did.

Marcus' First Dance

Marcus attended his first high school dance this past weekend! Two girls wanted to go with him, but he chose to go "stag". The first girl is his Chex Mix stalker, so I understand his refusal to go with her, and I don't know the second girl, so no comments there. He practiced his moves all day, and had even printed out a WikiHow page on "How to Dance at Homecoming." We watched a how-to video on YouTube and learned all the moves to Michael Jackson's "Thriller", too...just in case.

I begged Blake to be the one to drive him to the dance. Marcus and I always have the craziest time together, and this was no exception. We got ready to pull out of the driveway, and Mason came sprinting toward the car screaming. He wanted to ride along, and while I didn't see any harm in it, Marcus was less than thrilled. First - Mason was wearing two things...his underwear and a Mr. Incredibles pajama shirt. Second - Mason has a habit of popping out of my sunroof and shouting at Marcus as he leaves the car. The last episode has left Marcus scarred for life and involved Mason yelling about Hostess Ding Dongs as Marcus walked up the busy sidewalk into the school. I promised Marcus that I would not allow Mason to embarass him, and off we went.

When we arrived, Marcus lost his nerve and so we sat and watched other people go in. After awhile, we noticed we'd fogged up the windows, and he didn't really want to be seen exiting a car driven by his stepmom with steamy windows...and I understood. So we drove around the block and I almost got the Jag highcentered, but that's another story. When we got back to the school, he was finally ready to make his entrance. He looked so nice in his fancy duds. Sidenote - while Marcus was in the dressing room trying on the clothes for the dance, Mason made his way in to the dressing room, too, and began to yell - "MARCUS. MARCUS BAYSINGER. - Oh there you are. (peeking in between the door opening) Hey! You're in your underwear!". Poor Marcus. Is there really anything more embarassing for a 14 year old?

He had a great time at the dance and even danced with his Chex Mix Stalker. Poor girl - she followed him around the whole night and shot evil looks at the other girls Marcus danced with. Oh how I miss the drama! I have pictures, but I'm missing my card reader. When I find it - I'll post the pics!

Mr. Onion's Part Two

As I posted last time, whenever Aiden and Mason get together, bloggable moments abound. Here are a few more of my favorite overheard conversations from day two:

Mason: "AIDEN SAID HE'S GONNA KILL ME!"
Aiden: "No, I didn't. I said that maybe we could talk your mom into taking us to McDonald's Playland. Maybe that rhymes with kill."

Aiden: "Could you call my principal?"
Me: "Why?"
Aiden: "I want to know if it's 'Bring a Friend To School Day'. I'd like to bring Mason."

Mason: "Me and Aiden pottied at the same time in the toilet."
Aiden: "We were playing lightsabers."

Mason: (when we were dropping Aiden off at school) "Are those your teachers?"
Aiden: "Yes".
Mason: "Wow! They're beautiful!"

Mr. Onion's?

I'm keeping the Meade kiddos while their parents are out of town, and every time Mason and Aiden get together, bloggable moments abound! Today they were BEGGING to go to McDonald's for lunch. Since Blake, the fast food Nazi was home, I would never consider feeding children fast food, we kept trying to divert their attention, but they weren't buying. Finally, Blake told them that McDonald's had to close down due to high energy bills and now, in its place, is a restaurant called Mr. Onion's. He told them that Mr. Onion's only serves onions...not even onion rings...just raw onions. They no longer serve pop...only water. He was really convincing - even pretending to phone Mr. Onion's and verify the story. He "found out" during the phone conversation with Mr. Onion's manager that they even closed down all Playlands and converted them to gardens for growing their onions. Finally, the boys decided they would call the McDonald's in Andover and check out the whole story. Mason put the phone on speakerphone, and we dialed the number. I swear, I almost wet my pants when the following exchange was taking place:
Female Employee: "Hello, Andover McDonald's."
Mason: "Did you change your name to Mr. Onion's?"
Female Employee: (pause) "Excuse me?"
Mason: (Louder and impatiently) "DID. YOU. CHANGE. YOUR. NAME. TO. MR. ONION'S?"
Female Employee: "Uh...No."
Mason: (shouting) "SEE DAD! Thank you. Bye."

It took a full five minutes for Blake and I to regain our composure. When I finally got it together, I lost it again when Aiden concluded..."Well - we could always just go to Burger King."

Shots and Pics

Today Max had to get shots at the doctor's office, and while we were there, the nurse asked if Mason would prefer FluMist instead of the injection this year. Of course - the answer was yes! Can I tell you how much less drama there is in letting the nurse spritz a mist into your child's nose versus sticking him with a needle? Wow! I decided to take the mist version myself, and so we're both protected. I officially recommend FluMist to moms with needle shy kiddos...and aren't they all?

Here are a few more pics of Mason and Quinn from Uncle Jason and Aunt Mindy's wedding:

Better Him Than Me

Today at his flag football game, Mason lied about having to use the bathroom. Don't ask me why anyone would WANT to go to the port-a-potty that they keep out on the YMCA football field, but Mason thought he absolutely needed to visit. Blake and I both asked him several times if he really had to go, and he insisted that he did. Of course - when Blake got there with him - no results. There is no tolerance for lying, so Blake grounded him to his room and mentioned a spanking. Later in the day, I went up to check on him, and he had several sheets laying near his door along with some items under them. I asked him what the mess was about, and he said it was a trap so his dad would trip when he came up to administer the aforementioned spanking. I was shocked. I said, "Mason, why would you want your daddy to get hurt?" He replied, "Better him than me!" Priceless.

The Ring "Bear"

This weekend was Blake's brother's wedding in which Mason was the ring bearer. Awhile back he was upset to learn that he wouldn't be a ring B-E-A-R, but a Bearer of the rings. He'd even been practicing his growl. He and Quinn, the flower girl, were so incredibly cute. I was crying before anyone even entered the sanctuary, then about completely lost it when Mason and Quinn started down the aisle. At the reception a man told Mason that he should start his own ring bearer business. He could hire himself out since he'd done such a great job at this wedding. Another woman told me that Mason was possibly the most adorable child she'd ever seen. Seriously folks - not only was he so handsome in his tux - his personality was totally "on". He made some fast friends and even shook it on the dance floor. One of my favorite moments was on the way home in which these conversation took place:

Mason: "Mom, is boobs a funny word?"
Me: "Well...yeah, I guess it's kinda funny. Why?"
Mason: "Me and some boys were saying it in the bathroom and people were laughing."

Me: "I'm glad you made friends with Justus."
Blake: "Yeah - he was breakdancing on the dance floor."
Mason: "You should have seen him in the bathroom!"

I'm not sure what in the world was going on in the bathroom, but it sounds like a party of its own. Here's a picture of Mason and Quinn. When we get the professional shots in, I'll post more.

Skimpy Delicates

A few years ago Marcus noticed that Mason was playing with a fragile mug at my mom's house. He yelled, "Grandma, Mason is playing with your delicates!" Grandma rushed in to the dining room expecting to find Mason with her underwear, then realized that Marcus had misused the word. We all got a good chuckle out of it. Today there was a similar episode. Marcus was explaining to me why he had dumped trash into the wrong bin. He said, "I was in a hurry...I was out here in my skimpies." I assume he meant skivvies, but it was great for another giggle.

Veggie Tale Tragedy

The Veggie Tales were in town a few days ago, so I took the boys to see them live on stage. Things started off badly and went downhill from there. When Bob the Tomato came out on stage, he was missing a very important body part. And since Bob only had 3 body parts, EYES are pretty important! Someone quickly spun him around and stuck them on...and the show went on. That is until one eye fell off during the middle of one of Bob's lines later in the show. Several children gasped and some were afraid. Again - someone stuck the eye on, but this time it wasn't reapplied exactly straight. For the rest of the show, Bob seemed to be gazing up and to the right. It was odd. I laughed. Mason laughed.

One of my life complaints is the astronomical price of the poor quality trinkets at these shows. Every time we see Sesame Street, Wiggles, the circus or whatever...there is some spinning, light-up thingy that every kid MUST have. They cost $15 and last for about a minute and a half. Seriously. This time, I stuck to my guns. My daily Bible study had been on parenting, so I was armed. Mason begged and begged, but I was unwaivering. Enter God. A little boy and his grandma were sitting behind us. Toward the end of the show, the grandma GAVE Mason one of the light up thingys! She said they had two, and offered Mason their spare! He was super-thrilled! I seriously felt like God rewarded us. I'm certain she was an angel. Hey - and that's probably why Bob's eye fell off...I know God has a sense of humor and it was probably some sort of inside joke between Him and the grandma-angel-lady. Yeah - that's it. For the record - the light up thingy lasted until we got home. Even angels have to deal with the reality of the poor quality trinket issue.

Swimming Upstream

I finally purchased an Icthus/Ixthus (the Jesus fish) for my minivan. I have been so excited to put it on and made a big deal about exactly where on my van it should go. Marcus wanted to help, but I wouldn't let him be the one that officially stuck it on the van - I wanted to make sure it was right where I wanted it. Wouldn't you know it? I got it on backwards! I'm pretty sure they're supposed to face left, and mine is facing right. Now I've begun to worry that there's some weird religious sect out there that identifies itself with a backward Icthus. I have nothing to support this fear, but if it exists, leave it to me to join accidentally. I'm certain that my husband will be able to remove it and fix it, but somehow I'm not sure that fixing my upstream swimming Icthus will be very high on his to-do list. Maybe if I start chanting and handing out off beat religious paraphernalia, he'll take the situation more seriously.

Junk Drawer Drama

I decided to organize my junk drawer today. It's full of coupons, lids, newspaper clippings and - oddly - my home organization notebook. As I was cleaning, I discovered a coupon for A FREE PACKAGE OF OREOS...AND IT WAS EXPIRED! I absolutely love Oreos, and I am still traumatized that I missed the opportunity to get a free package! As I was continuing my cleaning project, I also found a picture of Marcus from Halloween 3 years ago. He was dressed as a hippie, and when he came to the door (from his mom's house) I totally didn't recognize him. He came on into the house and started helping himself to the candy. I was so shocked that a complete stranger would do this, and stood there with my mouth wide open. I tried to escort him back outside, and then realized it was him. It was pretty funny. Here's the pic...


After a few more minutes of organizing, I got to thinking about that Oreo coupon, and decided to check out my personal stash. I keep a package of Oreos on a top shelf in the kitchen that only I know about. OK - Blake knows about it, but he's usually on a low carb diet, so I'm safe. Or so I thought. Today, when I opened the package I discovered that ALL of the cookies had been opened and the white filling was LICKED OUT! Left behind were about 12 chocolate cookie halves! I have no idea when this happened, and I'm still tracking down the culprit, though all clues point to the 4 year old! The only benefit to the ordeal was the bloggable moment. Here's the evidence...

Junk Drawer Drama

I decided to organize my junk drawer today. It's full of coupons, lids, newspaper clippings and - oddly - my home organization notebook. As I was cleaning, I discovered a coupon for A FREE PACKAGE OF OREOS...AND IT WAS EXPIRED! I absolutely love Oreos, and I am still traumatized that I missed the opportunity to get a free package! As I was continuing my cleaning project, I also found a picture of Marcus from Halloween 3 years ago. He was dressed as a hippie, and when he came to the door (from his mom's house) I totally didn't recognize him. He came on into the house and started helping himself to the candy. I was so shocked that a complete stranger would do this, and stood there with my mouth wide open. I tried to escort him back outside, and then realized it was him. It was pretty funny. Here's the pic...


After a few more minutes of organizing, I got to thinking about that Oreo coupon, and decided to check out my personal stash. I keep a package of Oreos on a top shelf in the kitchen that only I know about. OK - Blake knows about it, but he's usually on a low carb diet, so I'm safe. Or so I thought. Today, when I opened the package I discovered that ALL of the cookies had been opened and the white filling was LICKED OUT! Left behind were about 12 chocolate cookie halves! I have no idea when this happened, and I'm still tracking down the culprit, though all clues point to the 4 year old! The only benefit to the ordeal was the bloggable moment. Here's the evidence...

Mason and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and before going in I told him that he WAS NOT going to get a toy this time. Five minutes in and he was asking for a Limbo Dance Set. I sent him to put it back on the shelf, and he returned with Silly String. Again - a reminder of the agreement (though only one of us seemed to be agreeing) and a send off to return the Silly String to the shelf. In the van, on the way home, he was in the backseat saying, "No, No, No, No." I asked him what he was doing, and he said, "Practicing for when I'm an adult."

Another Crazy Day

A few days before school started, I asked Marcus to go to the basement and bring up some luau decorations. A friend wanted to borrow them for her office party, and I volunteered to drop them off. Marcus emerged from the basement sans luau decorations, but instead wearing my old grass skirt from my lifeguarding days. We had tons of errands to run, and I dared Marcus to wear the skirt for the entire day. He couldn't resist, and we had fun stopping at random places around town for some quick snaps. Enjoy...

Making a deposit at the bank. Note - that's the bank where his step-father is the president. He got some weird looks until the branch manager recognized him. It's funny to watch people be nice out of obligation to a teenager in a grass skirt!

Marcus at a bus stop. Mason kept shouting, "DON'T GET ON THE BUS, MARCUS!" from across the street.Self explanitoryMASON! Get back in the van!

Joining the picketers. Notice his sign, "No Luau - No Planes".

Thrown To The Wolves

Marcus has officially survived his first few days of high school...public high school no less! Andover isn't exactly inner city Chicago, but to a sheltered, private school kid - it felt pretty close. Here are some highlights from his first three days:

• A girl by the name of Shelby has started stalking Marcus. At first we thought she had ulterior motives (wanting to be nominated as a cheerleader for Trojan Night) - but now we think she officially has a crush on him. Unfortunately she demonstrates her desires by making strange shoulder movements and offering him Chex mix that she stores in bulk in her backpack.
  
• Marcus was asked by a new acquaintance who his father was (only at Andover) and he explained that his dad was Blake Baysinger - former owner of the cell phone store and current owner of eDrop. The boy replied, "Ahhh...your dad's a Pimp-&*%". Marcus whispered to another former CCA student, "Is that good or bad"? The other CCA boy said, "I have no idea". Marcus came home asking what a Pimp-&*% was. After I carefully outlined the job description and general wardrobe of a pimp, He decided the boy was, indeed, paying a compliment.
  
• After noticing a leggy blond in too short shorts bending over in the parking lot, Marcus said, "Well...you'd never see that at CCA!"
• He's trying to figure out how to respond to a certain "pose" that his new friends assume when they are greeting each other. He has come to the unfortunate conclusion, through trial and error, that slapping the lower, rear facing hand is NOT the correct response.
• And my favorite so far...Tonight Marcus commented to me, "Some of the girls at Andover are full blown women!"

Thank God For Near Disasters

Because I live in a house with 3 boys, I consider it a blessing straight from the Lord when we have a near disaster. There are plenty of disasters, believe you me. So near disasters are a welcome relief! A few days ago, Mason took a box that held Max's new high chair and turned it into a little house. Blake helped him cut a door in the front and he's been playing in it ever since. Yesterday, I saw him walk through the house with a big water pitcher. When I asked him what he was doing, he had the most suspicious look on his face. Upon further investigation, I discovered that he was en route to the bathroom to fill up the pitcher with water. He planned to use that water to fill up the cardboard box and make a dunk tank! Yes - Thank you Lord for that NEAR disaster.

Last night we attended the State Convention at our church. Afterward there was an ice cream social, and we were sitting with a couple from Melvern. Mason (naturally) struck up conversation with them, and the husband asked Mason how old he was. It went like this:
Man: How old are you?
Mason: I'm four. How old are you?
Man: (chuckling)
Wife: He's 58.
Mason: MAN...THAT'S OOOOLLLLDDDD!
Blake: Jennifer - why are you hiding under the table? (OK - that part didn't really happen, but as I replay the scene in my mind - that's what happens).
Fortunately, the couple has lots of grandkids that live far away and they miss them terribly. They proceeded to tell embarrasing stories about things their grandkids have said, and we all felt better. I told my friend, Kris, the above story on the way out and she shared this exchange between her nephew, Jacob, and a woman at a wedding:
Jacob: I know you're older than my aunt.
Woman: Really...how?
Jacob: By all those wrinkles on your neck.
Now that's a disaster...nothing "near" about it!

Marcus Being Marcus

A few days ago I asked Marcus to go to the basement and retrieve our grass table skirts, as a friend needed them for a luau office party. He came up without the table skirts, but was instead wearing my old grass skirt from my lifeguarding days. He also had a couple of leis around his neck. Somehow we came up with the idea to drive around town and photograph him doing various things in the outfit. It was so much fun. Here's how it went...

Random Tidbits

I haven't blogged in forever, and I know my readers have been suffering withdrawal symptoms as they reload my page time and time again with no updates! In all honesty I wonder if anyone other than Blake actually reads what I post - and he just reads it to make sure I'm not humiliating our family any worse than we do on our own. Anyway - here is a random list of updates from the Baysingers.

• Max is babbling up a storm now! He says dada, bubba, baba, bye bye and even poo poo...but not mama. I'm so sad. In my upset state I did successfully get him to say "dada poo poo." I realize he's just mimicking what we say, but I'm still convinced he's a genius!
• Marcus enrolled at Andover this week. It's his first venture outside the private school sector. We always used to threaten him with public school...we shouldn't have done that. He'll do great. It's just that his first and last encounter with the public school system was when I took him to visit my mom while she was at work at my hometown elementary school. When we pulled up to the school, a 6th grade boy was running across the playground with two dodge balls stuffed up his t-shirt pretending to be a woman. Marcus' eyes were wide as saucers and he looked at me and asked, "Is THIS public school?" I didn't even bother to tell him that the boy was the mayor's son!
• Marcus was recently reminding me about the time a few months ago that Mason ran a rope across our street and set up a "toll booth". He had traffic backed up about three cars deep before we discovered his little operation. I don't think he collected any money, but I'm certain one of the neighbors considered calling SRS.
• The toll booth wasn't his last entrepreneurial effort. A few weeks after that, he drug a bunch of stuff out of the house and put it on the front lawn and tried to sell it to people walking by. Honestly - it's not like I don't keep an eye on him. I simply didn't realize what he was doing. And as far as the toll booth incident goes - I was tending to Max (he was still a newborn then) and Mason works incredibly fast!
• Max can crawl now...well - almost. He just goes in reverse! He can get anywhere he needs to go - as long as it's located behind him!
• I'm serving as Women's Ministries Director at our church again. I took a break after having Max, and I'm so excited to be involved there again. It's where God intends for me to serve, and I absolutely love it!
• Blake is still the reigning karaoke champion at our house. His performance of Honky Tonk Badonkadonk is stellar! Unfortunately - Mason picked up a few of the lyrics and sang them to a woman in Gordman's. Nothing like having your 4 year old son tell a stranger to "work her moneymaker". I really need to find that 101 Sunday School Favorites CD.
• Mason will be the ring bearer in his uncle Jason's wedding in September. He's been practicing, and tried to get Marcus to be the flower girl...to no avail. I did have to break the news that he won't be the ring "bear" but the ring "bearer". He was upset because he'd been practicing growling. I'm not convinced that he won't try to work the growl in somewhere during the ceremony anyway.

Return of the Scarves

When a grandparent passes away, most people inherit something. Maybe a little cash, some land, jewelery, or a precious family heirloom. When my grandmother and grandfather passed away, my brother got guns. I, however, got a shoe box full of scarves from the 1950's. Seriously. I'd forgotten about them for quite awhile (sorry grandma), but several years ago Marcus discovered them and fell in love with the scarves. He was probably about 8 or 9 and used them to play magician. He tied them all together and stuffed them up his sleeves. We would pretend to watch in amazement as he pulled them out of his sleeve over and over and over and over... Finally, Blake got tired of his son playing with women's scarves, and they mysteriously disappeared (unrelated to Marcus' act). He never admitted to any involvement, but we all suspected he did away with them. Today - as I was searching for something else, I found the missing scarves! Guess who loves them just as much as his brother did! Mason immediately put on a multi-colored one as a sarong. He then used another one as a flag for his laundry basket boat. I can't wait for Blake to get home. He'll be so excited that the scarves have returned!

Tastes Like Chicken To Me

One of my favorite conversations from our Branson trip...

Waiter at Shorty Smalls: How are your fish sticks?
Mason: Great! They taste just like chicken.

Mothers Don't Vacation

We got home Monday evening after a long weekend in Branson. Most of our family is referring to the weekend as a vacation. For me, the mother, the only time I vacationed was when I ran ahead of everyone in the outlet mall and hid in a clothing rack for the whole 5 minutes it took them to find me. On the trip down to Branson, Max did pretty well for the first hour or so. Then he insisted on being held and screamed bloody murder when we put him in his car seat. Don't preach at me about car seat safety. I'm from the generation that rode in the car's back window. Plus - my husband is the best driver in the world. However, I was mad at him during most of the trip to Branson. While I was wrestling with the heavy, squirmy, fussy baby and refereeing fights between the other two, Blake was listening to his iPod and using his noise-canceling earphones. Can't you just see it? Chaos in the back of the van and an oddly blissful driver oblivious to all of it! I thought I was going to actually get physical with him when he shouted back (he shouts when wears the ear buds) that he was having such a great time on the trip! Speaking of getting physical, I'm thinking of investing in my own noise canceling ear buds so I can cancel some noise the next time he's thinking of "getting physical".

Honestly - we had an awesome weekend. I'll blog more about all the funnies later. I'm especially excited to tell of Marcus' tragic experience on the Ride The Duck adventure. Not only was he mistaken for a woman, he was trapped between a bossy grandmother and her husband who had a breathing disorder. Good stuff - stay tuned!

Sell It To Your Neighbor For Pete's Sake

One of my favorite things in life is humor. I'm so thankful that God has a sense of humor and allows us to laugh. I get a kick out of so many things, but sometimes I can be guilty of laughing inappropriately. I've never cracked up at a funeral, but I did get a horrible case of the giggles when Merle Moore (age 265) sang a solo in my hometown church when I was about 12. He had about 2 notes left in his range and the song he chose didn't hit either one of them. Thankfully God hears our hearts...though I'm not sure that part of him was working that well, either. Oh - that reminds me - I also got the giggles in the same church when an obese man had a heart attack and the ambulence had to come and take him to the hospital. It was during the Sunday evening service and when I noticed that he'd tipped over in the pew I also noticed that his very busty wife had two or three open buttons on her blouse. To this day I wonder if the two were related. Anyway - on to today's funny...

I'm so sad that I missed the complete exchange, but when I got to work this morning, Blake was having a pained discussion with an Asian lady with a very heavy accent. She had brought a stereo system for us to sell, and was having second thoughts about selling it on auction. I believe her concern was that she couldn't control the selling price on a true auction, but she wasn't willing to pay the deposit we require to set a minimum price. If you know Blake at all you know he has the patience of a caffeine addict with ADHD on diet pills. This woman didn't stand a chance. Looking back, we realize that she was saying "Already" (say it to yourself with a Chinese accent - like "all leady"). Blake thought she was saying "Old Lady" and because she'd mentioned her neighbor, Blake assumed she'd received an offer from an old lady neighbor to buy the stereo outright. He proceded to repeatedly encourage her to sell the stereo to her neighbor, as she'd probably fetch a better price. She was truly confused by this, since we now know that she has no neighbor interested in the stereo. But it didn't stop her from repeating the word, "all leady", "all leady". I'm not sure how the whole exchange finally wound down, but the lady left and we're still auctioning the stereo. And I'm still giggling.

We Are Definitely The Weird Neighbors

Have you ever had one of those moments where you wake up in the middle of the night realizing something disastrous happened earlier in the day? All of the pieces of a series of events mysteriously come together in the night and land in your brain causing you to sit upright in bed.

At some point in the day, a few days ago, Mason asked me to write a sentence on a piece of paper for him. The sentence was, "Maddy is my sister." Maddy is our next door neighbor, and Mason often refers to her as his sister. He REALLY wanted a sister when Max was born, and even offered to settle for a hamster instead of a brother. Alas - he ended up with a brother and simply pretends Maddy is his sister.

Anyway - at another point in the day Mason asked for an envelope. At another point in the day Mason begged to deliver a note to Maddy, but reminded me that he wasn't allowed to ring their doorbell anymore (another story for another day). At another point during the evening, as I was immersed in another project and only half listening, Marcus told me that he and Mason had delivered a note to the neighbors by ringing their doorbell and running away. Now - you're getting all these tidbits at once - allowing for an opportunity to put the pieces together quickly. I was not so fortunate.

I woke up at about 2 am realizing that the neighbors heard their doorbell ring, went to the door to find nothing but a blank envelope. What was inside the envelope? A note bearing an adult's handwriting with the words, "Maddy is my sister" in block letters (so Mason could read it easily). After that incident where I was accused of stalking the Women of Faith group, this is not going to look good. Again - another story for another time.

Mason The Problem Solver

Twice lately Mason has tried to come up with a "better" solution than what I've suggested in hopes to avoid work. A few days ago I read about a method that supposedly helps parents train children to put their toys away. In theory, you explain to the child that everything has its own place and that the toys prefer being in their homes versus on the floor - or wherever they happen to be instead of in their proper place. I noticed that Mason had some toys on the floor in the kitchen, and I said, "Mason - these toys aren't in their homes. Why don't you put them away so they'll be where they belong?" He said, "See this kitchen? Let's pretend it's Branson and these toys are on vacation." Whoever wrote that book hasn't met Mason. Today I told him to get a pen for me so I could write out my grocery list. He was busy playing but suggested I use his safety scissors, which were right in front of me, to cut letters out of paper to spell out what I needed. I could use tape (that was also beside me) to adhere the cut out letters to a piece of printer paper...also right beside me. Seemed logical to him. He didn't have to quit playing and my list would be a work of art!

Max's First Word...Sort Of

Max has been babbling for some time now, but none of the words have been distinguishable. He's only five months old, but I'm so anxious for him to start saying mama! This morning Blake and I were laying in the bed with Max and just enjoying his cooing and gooing. Then, out of nowhere, Max says, "Boobs". I'm not kidding - it was plain as day. Great - leave it to a Baysinger boy. His first word is "boobs". Blake was so proud.

The Mad Housewife

I often wonder why I have so much trouble keeping my house in order. For Pete's sake - I'm a stay at home mom - how could my house always be such a disaster? Today I decided I would spend the day cleaning and organizing. I had visions of neat and tidy rooms, closets full of clean laundry and those lines across the carpet from vacuuming yourself out of the room. Here's a rundown of exactly why NONE of that will be happening any time soon.
1. Made a call to church Leadership Team director to explain why I wouldn't be giving a budget update to the body over the 4th of July weekend. 30 minutes later we were still solving all church related issues.
2. Received call from my brother desperately needing a part for his truck's air conditioner and there's only one left in Wichita. Asked me to PLEASE quickly pick it up for him downtown.
3. Returning home from O'Reily's noticed Michael's was open. Needed to stock up on some supplies for my craft room. Mason found a neat little sidewalk paint set. It was on clearance so I let him have it - that will come back to bite me in the behind later.
4. Notice we have overdue videos in the van. Since we're out, we drive in to Andover to return them.
5. Driving by Dairy Queen we notice our friends from church are eating, so we stop for a short (30 minute) visit. They were glad we stopped because Blake had left a giant blow torch at their house on the 4th and they were none to happy about carrying it around in their car.
6. Back home 2 hours later - still no housework done. Mason wants to paint the sidewalk with his new set. After 30 minutes of untwisting those impossible plastic ties on the back of every toy sold these days - we had freed the items and I sent him outside to play.
7. The neighbor boy comes over and wants to paint, too. I spend 15 minutes locating a paintbrush so he can play with Mason.
8. I start organizing the kitchen and look outside just in time to see that the neighbor boy is painting the blocks of wood that Blake uses to create his masterpiece bowls on the wood lathe. Abandon cleaning to shout at neighbor boy.
9. Max is quite grouchy and wants to eat. I start feeding him and he begins to drift off to sleep - yea! Unfortunately - neighbor boy and Mason blast in the door to get popsicles. Max begins to scream. See how that laundry is doing itself?
10. I send them out the front door with the popsicles and orders to keep quiet.
11. Mason comes in to report that the neighbor boy is painting "The Angel". This would be a fantastic sculpture done by Blake's deceased father that is on display at our front entryway.
12. I deposit Max in bed for a short lesson in falling asleep on his own and dash outside to clean the sculpture. You wouldn't believe the stares I got from neighbors as I'm hosing down the angel...as if I had better things to do! Couldn't help giggling as I remember the neighbor boy, in reference to his handiwork, asking me, "Isn't it 'boo-tiful'"?
13. Mason returns home from the neighbors (I'm pretending I knew he'd gone over there) and decides it's too hot to be outside. He wants to watch a movie upstairs. Great idea! Too bad I have to set up a 1980's VCR on that TV.
14. One child is watching a movie and one is asleep. I can finally get started on this housework. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It's 3 o'clock and I haven't gotten a thing done. I'm exhausted. I'm taking a nap.

So Much To Share - So Little Time

So many fun things have happened recently, and I wish I had hours of time to blog. But, alas, I'm the mother of a 4 year old and a 5 month old...it ain't happenin'.

Max is now sitting up! He's still a little wobbly, but he's getting there. I took a video, but apparently it's too large a file because after about an hour of waiting yesterday, I couldn't get it loaded. A picture will have to do for now.


He had to get shots at the doctor's office yesterday. I'd recently read about the difference in pain between two test groups of infants receiving shots. One group got a dose of sugar water and the second group did not. The difference was remarkable - those babies receiving sugar water felt much, much less pain than the others. I'd read the article in the newspaper, then went online to get more details. I took my sugar water to the appointment, and gave him some before the shots. I never did read, though, how much to give the baby. I had a dropper and gave him about 3/4 of an ounce. The nurse didn't come in for awhile, so since too much time passed I asked her about giving him more of the mixture. She said that they had just gotten in some samples and they were using it for all baby immunizations. She proceeded to put a few drops on Max's tongue. I asked her what the proper dosage was and she said, "Oh - just a few drops on the tongue." Oops!!! She was surprised at how well Max took the mixture...and I didn't breathe a word as to why.

Max was definitely more graceful taking the sugar water than he was during a recent carrot eating episode. He discovered how FUN it is to spit after each bite. Notice the onesie that fits more like a tube top. This little guy is 5 months old and wears 18-24 month clothes! This size 12 month onesie has seen it's end.


Last night I served sloppy joe's for dinner. Mason ate a few bites and then announced that he was allergic to sloppy joe's and wouldn't be able to eat the rest of his. I told him that people who allergic to things often swell up and break out in hives, and since he didn't have either symptom he needed to keep eating. After disappearing for a few minutes he reappeared covered in red spots. He had taken a magic marker and given himself a case of the "hives"! Too bad they hadn't all come off this morning when it was time to go to Bible study!

Max Learns To Sit Up

At 5 months and 1 week, Max can officially sit up. This video shows him in action. He gets off to a rocky start, but hold out for the end. A few days have passed since we recorded this, and he's really getting the hang of it! We should really be proud - with a belly that size, it's bound to be tough doing much of anything. Man this kid is a chunk!

On The Move

Today Mason announced that we're moving. He told us that he'd sold our house to his imaginary friend, Phil, for $100 and that we are moving across the street to live with Jay and Vivi. Jay (short for and Vivi (short for Vivian) are 4 year old twins that live across the street from us along with their parents and older sister. Mason loves them to pieces and it's all I can do to keep him from ringing their doorbell every time he sees their garage door is open.

Flowers For Mom

When we were kids, my brother would often grab up bunches of weeds and come inside singing "Happy Birthday" to my mom with the flowers hidden behind his back. I never understood why she was always so thrilled to receive these bedraggled bouquets. I mean, it wasn't like it was actually her birthday. Today - it all became amazingly clear. Mason presented me with the most beautiful bouquet I've ever received. I thanked him for the lovely flowers, and he said matter of factly, "Mom - they're leaves." At least he's honest.

Dancing Boot Camp

Last night Mason announced that he was going to hold a dance class out on the deck. Why is not surprising that I was the only family member that showed up? He plugged in his portable stereo, cranked up his 101 Sunday School Favorites CD and climbed up on the big deck storage box to hold court. He shouted at me just like a drill sergeant, "Dance, Mama, Dance." I wasn't quite sure how to dance to "Jesus Loves Me" so I just sort of swayed and clapped. Mason wasn't satisfied. In his drill sergeant voice he instructed me on HOW to dance. Then he announced to the class (me) that he was going inside, but I was to stay out on the deck and dance. Great. The neighbors already think we're weird, but now they'll see me out on the deck doing some white girl moves to "Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam." So like any normal person would do, as soon as he closed the deck door, I stopped dancing. Unfortunately, his big brother (who'd been immensely enjoying the whole scene) was watching out the window. Marcus told Mason that I'd stopped dancing, and the deck door came sliding open and drill sergeant Mason yells, "Dance, Mama, Dance". Priceless. I finally got up the courage to drop out of the dance class. I did hear, though, that he plans to hold another class tonight. So if you're interested - there are plenty of openings!

Impress Them On Your Children

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 states, "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

It is so important that we teach our children about the Father. And sometimes our kids say things that make us realize we need to do a better job! Today Mason noticed that the sun was shining in Max's eyes as we were driving in the van. He adjusted the sunshade and said, "We don't want Max to go blind like the blind man that Jesus helped." I asked Mason to tell me how Jesus helped him. Mason said, "Jesus spit gum in his eyes." What! Gum? Did they even have gum then? Wait - there's a more pressing issue. I corrected the story and reminded Mason that it was dirt that Jesus spit into and mud that he applied to the man's eyes. Mason seemed to remember that being correct. And I will remember to continue impressing the Lord's commandments on my children.

Can You Duet?

As Blake continues his pursuit of country music fame, we became addicted to the Country Music Television show Can You Duet?. The winners just blew the doors off the thing, and have set the bar pretty high for Blake and me. If we ever make it, this is what we'll have to compete with. Ha! We fell in love these two and are SO happy that they won! Watch for them world - here come Caitlin and Will!

Another Funny Day

There's never a dull moment in the Baysinger house. Here are the funnies from today:

• Marcus was "flashed" by a woman at Bible study this morning as he prepared to work in the child care department. When you're 14, that scar runs deep. She didn't intend to flash him, but the damage is done nonetheless.
  
• A few years ago, Marcus put an external slide lock up high on his door so he could prevent Mason from entering his room when he wasn't in it. Every time Marcus leaves his room, he slides the lock shut and voila - little brother can't get in. Unfortunately, little brother has access to a step stool and locked Marcus IN his room today. Time to inact plan B.
• Mason has been making his bed regularly lately, and at some point I started rewarding him with popsicles. Today he told me, "Hey mom - I made my bed twice today!" Nice try buddy.
  

Happy Father's Day

Today I asked each of the boys to tell me their favorite thing about their dad. I thought it would be a fun way to honor Blake on this Father's Day.

Me: Since today's Father's Day, tell me your favorite thing about daddy.
Mason: I like the cake.
Me: Yeah. Me, too. But what is your favorite thing about daddy?
Mason: I like the presents.
Me: Let me help. I love daddy because...
Mason: He's SO STRONG! He's WAY stronger than me.

Me: What's your favorite thing about your dad?
Marcus: (Rolling his eyes) This is weird.
Me: Come on - it's for my blog.
Marcus: I like that he drives really fast in the Jag (this merits some investigation on my part), he drives really fast on his motorcycles (this I knew) and he gets wild hairs and spends money on random things.

That last point made me giggle as I remembered the time Blake went in to Wal-Mart to buy low-carb candy bars and came out with a go-kart. A few weeks ago he went in for a microphone and came out with an acoustic guitar, a water slide and the microphone. Marcus is right on - and since he was the recipient of the go-kart, it makes sense that he would be fond of that impulsive trait in his father.

Me: Baby Max - what do you love about your daddy?
Baby Max: (spitting carrots out through a huge grin) Sspppppllllllttttt!
I think that translates to the most precious thing imaginable!

I guess I'll answer the question, too. While I could create a list a mile long, one thing that has been on my mind today is how incredibly capable Blake is. I am convinced that there is nothing he can't do. I often joke that if there's ever a disaster, even a nuclear attack, I'm pretty sure we'd be the only people with fresh water, electricity and high speed internet. Even as I type this he's creating a new masterpiece on his wood lathe. Capable with a capital C.

What an awesome daddy! We have an awesome life. He's a great provider. He's fun. He loves his kids like crazy, and I am so thankful that God gave him to me.

Say What?

Kids say the funniest things. I get such a kick out of hearing kids mispronounce words or use the wrong word in place of the correct one. Sometimes it's just downright hilarious. Other times their comments are simply mortifying. Here are a few of Mason's classics from the last few years:



Mispronounced words/lyrics...
Tibberphoon (Microphone)
Reneckerize (Recognize)
Vand (Band)
Bathtized (Baptized) - honestly his version makes the most sense, now doesn't it!
Festibal (Festival)
Alvin and the Chickmunks
Rock-a my soul in the busta my faverhead

Funny conversations:
Me: Mason, how do these sunglasses look on me?
Mason: You look very extinguished. (That was probably most accurate given the day!)

After I caught him prancing through the house wearing one of my bras...
Me: Mason - are you wearing my underwear!
Mason: No - I'm wearing your boob thing. (Said with a twang more like "boob thang")

At Aiden's birthday party...
Mason (to Jill, Aiden's mom): May I please have the expensive chips?
Jill: You can have cheap chips like everybody else. (Great reply!)

Server at Applebees: You're being such a polite boy.
Mason: It's just a show.

When discussing taking a sack lunch to school for field day...
Mason: I don't want to take a Zach lunch. I want a Mason lunch.

A Lesson In Gratituesday

I've wanted to participate in Heavenly Homemaker's Gratituesday, but it hadn't worked out yet. I was all ready to do it today - until I woke up and reality hit! Tuesday is the most difficult day of the week for me. It's the day that our family schedule returns to normal and I am left with the mess. I'm not saying that my family doesn't help clean up - it's just that it's the day that I play clean up and catch up. Things are particularly in disarray lately, as we have a huge hunting blind/tent set up in our living room. The boys (including daddy) thought it would be fun to play in it - then Mason wanted to sleep in it. That was 4 days ago. Mason is still sleeping in the tent, and I'm still trying to clean around it! One boy is supposed to be emptying trash cans, but it seemed like every single one was overflowing. There were socks and shoes everywhere (granted - some were mine) and two sinks were clogged. Ugh! Gratituesday? Yeah - right. Then my mother-in-law called. She offered to take the boys to see the famous Clydesdales associated with a beverage we don't drink in this house! :) My brother in law is a horse vet, and through some connection of his - they were able to see these magnificent creatures as they came through town today. Mason told me they were bigger than my car - even bigger than a barn! He also got to hold a kitten, and was just as excited about that. So anyway - I got some much needed peace and quiet. Max slept most of the time the older boys were gone, and my house got a quick cleaning. I'm grateful to have a house that needs cleaning. I'm grateful that I have an awesome family to mess it up! And I'm thankful for my mother-in-law...she rescued me and gave me time to catch up and gain perspective on Gratituesday.

Words From Aunt Sue

My Aunt Sue emailed me today with some words of wisdom regarding my post from yesterday. She reminded me of the father from back home that yelled at his son from the baseball field fence during every game. She said Blake has to sit in the bleachers, and "give Mason his privacy" (as he requested). Her husband and my dad coached hundreds of baseball games together. She and my mom didn't miss a game - keeping score and cheering like mad. She knows what she's talking about! Her email took me on a trip down memory lane. I absolutely loved summertime as a child. Going to a million baseball games was definitely a part of that - watching my dad and uncle Larry coach and my brother and cousins play. Those were the days when we played to win, and some kids didn't get to play much because of it. They didn't complain about it either - winning was a good thing...and they won a lot. Now that I'm the mom, I want Mason to have awesome summers, too. I sure hope baseball games are a part of that. Here's a poem my Aunt Sue sent to me about motherhood. Grab a tissue...

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says, half joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say carefully, keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on the weekend, no more spontaneous vacations..."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in child birth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every fire will haunt her.
That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.
That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.
I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for child care, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think about her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years - not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.
My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the ways she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is always careful to powder the baby or never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she'll feel with women throughout history who have tried desperately to stop war and prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.
I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I say finally. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand, and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. The blessed gift of being a Mother.

Hey Batter Batter

Mason had t-ball practice this morning. His team, The Wildcats, is a co-ed, 4 year olds team at the YMCA. I have really high hopes for Mason as a baseball player. He's built for the sport, and being a lefty is just an added bonus - though he's batting right this year. I realize we're just getting started, but he's going to have to step it up a notch before the scouts come calling. In the last game, a grounder got by him because he was digging a hole near 2nd base. Today, he had to abandon 2nd base again because "nature called". Blake is really encouraging to Mason and hangs out in the infield giving instructions and keeping the kids focused. On the way home I asked Mason if he likes having daddy out there helping, or if he'd prefer to have daddy sit in the stands with me. He said, "I want to have him in the stands. I like my privacy." Yeah - privacy to dig holes in the dirt and answer nature's call in center field instead of trekking to the bathrooms.

Today WSU is competing for a trip to the College World Series. Maybe Mason will watch a few innings with me. Hey - and with the Royals playing like they are - maybe he can play for them in a couple of years. For now - we'll settle for running the bases backward and fighting with teammates over grounders. Fun stuff!

Tonight Blake went to Walmart to pick up a microphone to enhance the karaoke stage we're in. It turned in to one of his random purchase trips. The last time it happened, he went in for a box of Atkins low carb candy bars and ended up with a go-kart. Tonight he went in for the microphone, and he also bought a water slide and an acoustic guitar. He's sort of like Santa...in June!

Karaoke Anyone?

As Blake pursues his dream of becoming a famous country music star, we've started performing karaoke here at the house. We downloaded some karaoke software, but unfortunately we've only purchased one song. It's by Randy Travis and let's just say, I'm getting a little tired of it. We're thinking of having a karaoke party, but we'll probably need more than just the one song. Otherwise, it would be a really odd party. People would leave.

Oh - that reminds me of the time we used a karaoke machine at a women's ministry event at church and someone got the bright idea to let the women sing toward the end of the event. Have you ever been so completely traumatized that all you could do was smile and cry at the same time? Somewhere near the end of the 2nd verse of a performance of Stevie Nix's "Gypsy", I finally caught the eye of a fellow women's ministry leader. She had the same look on her face, but she was able to move her feet. She put a stop to the sacrilege, and all was well. Every time I hear that song, I start to giggle thinking about "Gypsy" being performed in Hope's sanctuary. To be honest - the girl that was singing was awesome - total rock star! Anywhere else...just not in the church. My Southern Baptist roots run deep.

Remember, always keep a song in your heart - it's karaoke for the voices in your head.

Rainy Night List

It's a rainy night, and I'm in a bit of a funk. I can't think of anything great to blog about, so here's a random list of things you really don't care about.
1. Our neighbors GAVE us a set of solid wood bunk beds. The kind with the built in desk and drawers! Mason has always wanted bunk beds but we wouldn't spring for them. Good thing, huh? We have such incredible foresight.
2. We have great neighbors. We aren't such great neighbors. We don't really know how to be social, so we just stay in the house a lot.
3. I love my minivan. Blake was right - as usual. It's getting great gas mileage, and I can enjoy such peace and quiet with all the kids spread out and not touching each other. I can even take it to the next level of peace by putting a DVD in!
4. Blake decided he wants to be a country music star. He's never had voice training, and he doesn't play any instruments. We bought some books at Barnes and Noble.
5. Without prodding, Marcus would stay in the basement and watch TV all day. I forgot he was here last Monday, and he was down there for 3 1/2 hours before I realized it.
6. A few months ago Mason watched about 10 minutes of Cops without me realizing it. The situation was brought to my attention when he came out and announced that if you don't wear your pants, the police will haul you off to jail.
7. Country music depresses me. If Blake does become a country music singer, things are going to be pretty ugly around here. I only listen to Contemporary Christian music. I won't hold my breath for his boot-wearin', behind-kickin', gun-shootin' self to join up with Phillips, Craig and Dean.
8. My brother is one of the coolest guys I know - next to my husband. He loves kids and they have this weird, instant bond with him...even tiny babies take to him. He's tough as nails. He can fix anything. He is generous to a fault. He works harder than anyone I know. He's an excellent shot - once he flipped a nickel in the air and shot right through it.
9. I have fall allergies - really, horrid fall allergies. The kind that require a shot every year. I've NEVER had spring allergies...until this year. Oh well - it gives me a good reason to stay in the house and avoid the neighbors.
10. I'm jealous that Blake has all the good hobbies. He races motorcycles, makes the coolest bowls on his wood lathe, collects knives and guns, and will soon be singing in Nashville.
11. OK - I wasn't going to write an 11th one, but I just read back through what I've typed and some of it's sort of sassy. Judges 5:31 says, "Those who love the Lord shine as the sun." I guess there's just a little cloud passing by right now!

Motherhood Is Not For Sissies

My very best friend in the world (30 years!), Karen, gave me a great book called Motherhood Is Not For Sissies. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book along with a picture of me with Karen taken during our weekend at the Country Music Awards in Las Vegas last month.

I'm the blond one.....on the right.

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A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces that she never did care for pie.
-Tenneva Jordan

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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
-Phyllis Diller

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If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
-E.W. Howe