Grumpy Old Men 3

What a fun day at the Baysinger house! Around 10:30 am we decided we should venture to the pool for the first time this year. After about 30 minutes of packing every toy we own into the pool bag, changing the baby, feeding the baby, changing the baby again and sunscreening everyone except the baby (he's not 6 months old yet) - we finally made it out the door. The water was freezing so we ended up spending more time preparing for the trip than we actually spent AT the pool. Oh well - good first effort.

At 1pm we headed out to the slushy stand to meet up with some friends. One of the friends, Sharon, was an online buddy only - until today! I felt like we were meeting for the first time after some torrid internet affair. Ha! :) I officially love her to pieces. Anyway - the slushy stand wasn't open yet, so we ventured over to McDonald's. Apparently the three elderly gentlemen in our area weren't so happy to be surrounded by 11 children because at one point one of the men seriously yelled LOUDLY at the children to quiet them down. I was in the restroom changing the baby when it happened, and I heard it from there! When I came out, it was clear from the look on every mom's face that we were leaving - right then. We didn't realize Warner Brothers was filming Grumpy Old Men III today in the Andover McDonald's. The kids really weren't being THAT bad. Who could possibly yell at these sweet little cherubs:After leaving McDonald's, we went to Walnut Valley Country Store and picked up some tomato plants. Marcus and I simply HAD to own a Topsy Turvy after seeing the infomercial. It came last week and we hadn't gotten a plant for it yet. Mason wanted to plant a tomato plant, too, and here he is with both. Dig those overalls and the hat!

Gimme That Burrito

Our sweet baby Max, whom I affectionately refer to as "Chubzy Ubzy" (anyone remember the Little Rascals?) is about to eat us out of house and home. This is one hungry kiddo. I started him on rice cereal about a week ago, but that ain't cuttin' it. I swear he lunged after Marcus today and tried to wrestle a burrito out of his hands! Today was Max's first experience with baby food. I started with squash and he loved it! He kept opening his little mouth SO wide after swallowing each bite hoping for another spoonful - it was sooo cute. Here is a pic my sweet little chubzy with a "squash face":

Blogging Mom

Q. How do you know when you've officially become an obsessed blogging mom?
A. When you spot the dog licking the baby, and instead of making him stop, you hope he keeps licking until you find the camera! (For the record, Max was loving it and giggling like crazy!)

Men & Barbque

I've read this in a few places, but it always cracks me up. Since this is the weekend of the barbecue, I thought it was timely.

When a man volunteers to BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the
necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging
beside the grill.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
He thanks her and asks if she will bring him another drink while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(10) Everyone PRAISES and THANKS THE MAN for his cooking efforts.

(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘her night off.’ And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women!!

The God of Lightning

Awhile back I mentioned that I'm the proud parent of a true strong-willed child. I thought I'd share a couple of glimpses into our life confirming the fact.

After Mason had misbehaved for the umpteenth time one day...
Me: Mason - it's not only about obeying your parents because we tell you to, but it's about doing what God wants you to do.
Mason: Good thing it's cloudy outside. God can't see me today.

Me: Mason, you didn't ask permission to drink that pop. Remember - you're not just disobeying me. You need to do what God wants you to do.
Mason: (steps outside and looks to the sky) You gonna boss me about this pop?
Marcus (to Mason): Did she mention that God is in charge of LIGHTNING?

And Now...The Rest Of The Story

We're back from the ACM Award Show in Las Vegas. Blake did NOT run off with either Martina McBride or Carrie Underpants Underwood. We did NOT win the jackpot. I did NOT stay behind to pursue a career as a showgirl. We DID have a great trip. We DID get to see lots of super famous people. We ARE happy to be back home with our awesome kiddos.

I hate to bore everyone with too many details, but there is just so much to report! We were provided a fancy schmancy suite at the new Palazzo hotel - sister hotel of the Venetian. It was amazing...other than the fact that two people got stuck in the elevator on the 28th floor and Blake witnessed the fight between the EMS people and the hotel people as they blamed each other for not being able to get the stuck pair out! I don't know when they finally retrieved those poor folks - last I saw, the EMT's had a wheelchair and some oxygen tanks as they waited.

Blake got to see Lennox Lewis as he walked through our hotel casino. I was so jealous. That's what I get for shopping instead of gambling. Wait a minute...

The Awards Show was amazing. Our seats were pretty good - especially since they were free! I could see the shiny part of Dr. Phil's head perfectly from where I was sitting. It's so different to be there vs seeing it on TV. The room was so much smaller than it appears televised. They must pan it in such a way to make it appear huge, because in reality it isn't very big. Lots of people were trying to buy our tickets. I swear, Blake had a number in mind and I would have been watching the show from the room if someone would have had enough cash.

The after party was a lot of fun, too. There was tons of food and Dr. Pepper (sponsor), so I was in 7th Heaven. I bet I drank a six pack of Diet DP that night. It was in a smaller room than the televised event, though larger than last year's room, so the potential for elbow rubbing wasn't what we were promised. *pout* We did wander up to the stage and were able to get very close to several superstars. It was great. I am sad to report that we didn't really "meet" anyone famous. My best friend from back home did text me from the airport as they were leaving. She had run in to the 90's group McBride and the Ride. She was so ecstatic, as she's a true country music fan and knew exactly who they were. Somehow I bet they were as pleased as she was.

One of my favorite parts of the trip occurred in the last 15 minutes of our final flight. There were two guys sitting behind us who appeared to be in their late 20's. Their conversation had been prime for eavesdropping the entire trip, but it was the following two exchanges that were deemed blog worthy:

After noticing irrigation fields out his window...
Guy #1: Dude - look out the window...crop circles! Seriously - freakin' crop circles. Freakin' crop circles!

After long, whispered discussion about the nudity found on international beaches...
Guy #2: It's just not that big of a deal overseas. There's such a stigmata on that type of thing here.
Blake: How did I get these weird holes in my hands?
Me: Ouch - my side hurts.

As we got off the plane, I couldn't help but strike up conversation with them. Turns out they are engineers with AT&T. They're here to "make it all happen" with AT&T's U-Verse. Pierced, tattooed computer gurus. They looked more like mechanics from Pimp My Ride!

Great trip - great memories.

Home Sweet Home

We're home from the ACM Award Show trip, but let me tell you - we are changed people. Where do I start! How about with the most exciting stuff! The award show was simply amazing. We had great seats. Blake and I were sitting between Dr. Phil and his wife (my side) and Tim McGraw and Faith Hill (Blake's side) who weren't up for any awards this year - so sad. Most of you probably don't know this, but Blake dabbles in writing country music lyrics. He had written out one of his songs, and passed it over to Tim McGraw during the show. He loved it! He said that he's going to call Blake about recording it, and even gave us the phone numbers to his "people" to set up a date! I about died. I was mad at him for bothering Tim McGraw at first, but after everything unfolded, I was ecstatic. I didn't say much to Dr. Phil. I was honestly too starstruck. He's a very big man. After the Award Show we wandered over to the after party. Can you say amazing! We were sitting with our friends, but then Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman ended up at our table, too. Blake has issues with Keith Urban (outspoken Democrat) and they ended up almost going to blows over a few key issues. What a nightmare. He DID, however, get a chance to remind Martina McBride about the time she was waitressing in the cat suit. She pulled him up on stage and they told the story to the whole crowd. Everyone was cracking up, and I was just a tad jealous, I must say. That's when I really could have used Dr. Phil. After the party we went back to the hotel, and on a whim I put a quarter in a slot machine. Would you believe I hit the Wheel of Fortune Jackpot! It had built up to just over $75,000 and I swear every light, bell and whistle in that casino went off! Security had to come over and make me fill out a bunch of paperwork. THEN - I guess I must have really been making a scene because the talent recruiter for one of the Vegas shows came over and asked me if I'd like to audition to be one of their showgirls! He was probably just trying to get a piece of my winnings, so I told him I wouldn't be interested but it was an honor just to be asked.

I can't think of any other stories to make up, so that's it for now. I'll post the real story after I get some rest and do my laundry.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Not much time to blog tonight. I just got home. Unfortunately, Blake ran off with Martina McBride after he won the Double Diamond jackpot. I knew things were heading south when he

Some Invitation

My goofy pal, Sharon, sent me what I thought was an invitation to the slushy stand today. She sent it via one of those "Meet Hot Singles in Your Area" emails. Actually - she was just kidding, but I scanned the whole thing looking for the time to meet her there. I was reminded of the time in high school when a boy invited me to the prom and I accepted. Then he said he was just kidding, so I had to pretend that I was kidding, too, when I accepted. What a nightmare. After thinking about high school and receiving the hot singles email, I remembered the time that our Student Council did a fund raiser where you filled out a questionnaire about yourself. They sent them back in to some company that analyzed them and listed your top ten "love matches" from your school. My number one match was a boy in special ed. I am not kidding. I am also not making fun of anyone in special ed - it's just a fact - and obviously I have no room to make fun of him since he was my number one love match. He was the water boy for the basketball team and also loved to experiment with fashion. I remember him wearing shorts with long tube socks. He would roll the tube socks down like donuts around his ankles. He also made up actions to the 80's song, "Once Bitten Twice Shy" which he performed at the swimming pool where I lifeguarded. I'm not sure if the song/dance routine was for me specifically because of our love match, or if he was simply performing for the masses. Either way - that was my experience with the equivalent of "meeting hot singles in my area". Oh - and my number two match - the boy that pretended to ask me to prom.

My Strong Willed Child

I am the proud parent of a strong willed child. A real one. Not a child that is simply hyped up on sugar or needs a nap - a real, honest to goodness strong willed child. When Mason was just a baby, he let us know that he intended to be in charge. We didn't pick up on the signs then, but as we look back - they were there. Blake would put him down for naps when he was very small, and Mason would ever so slightly move to a position indicating a decision HE was making - not one assigned to him. When he was three he told me that if things were going to work out between us, I was going to have to be more flexible (Thank you Incredibles). I bought James Dobson's book on the strong willed child. Mason promptly used it as a step to reach an item on the counter he'd been instructed not to touch.

Today we went to lunch with one of my dearest friends, Joyce. Mason was in another booth chatting up the people over the back side. I instructed him to get down. He knew better than to say the word "no", but he really didn't want to end his visit. So after thinking about it for a moment, he used sign language to sign the word "no" to me. We headed straight for the bathroom with Mason holding his bottom all the way. I'm surprised no one called the SRS. However - had they seen the whole scene unfold, they may have offered to hold Max for me while I dealt with Mason!

I realize that there are positives to having a strong willed child. He's less likely to bend to peer pressure, and he has incredible drive. I just hope we don't strangle him in the process. Parenting Mason is such a challenge. I go to bed exhausted every night, but if I give in - he wins. Maybe I should ask my mother-in-law, Sharon, for advice. When her strong willed son (not Blake! - his brother, Larry) wouldn't stay in his room at night, she simply sawed the door in half creating a dutch door. He was stuck inside and she could stop worrying about him escaping...at least for awhile!

The Mother Daughter Soda...I Mean Tea

Yesterday my mom and I attended the mother daughter tea at Hope. It's become a yearly tradition for us, and this year was just as wonderful as years past. The speaker, Courtney Doctor, was awesome. I hadn't met her before, but we seemed to hit it off, and I can't wait to email her about a testimony I later heard regarding her talk.

Sondra Schimming gave a very proper talk on tea etiquette. I listened intently as I scooted my Diet Dr Pepper can behind the centerpiece. Sorry folks - I don't like tea and I have a caffeine addiction to deal with. Somewhere during the event, I got the bright idea to pour my pop into my tea cup. It seemed less tacky to lie about the contents than to drink straight out of the can at this proper function. At one point, I got up and was visiting with some friends nearby. My mom noticed I still had a cup full of tea, so she thought she'd pour some of it into her cup and not let it go to waste. The little girl sitting across from me had gotten quite a kick out of me sneaking pop during the morning, but I guess her eyes really started to widen as she watched my mom's actions unfold. Mom mentioned noticing Carly's amusement, but thought she was chuckling over our lack of manners. Carly knew my mother was about to encounter quite a surprise! Surprised she was as she took a sip of my "tea", and delighted was Carly. Leave it to my mother and I to cause a stir.

Each year, photographers take pictures of the tea attendees wearing hats, gloves and other paraphernalia. This photo is from two years ago. Last year's photo was a bit of a nightmare and the line was so long that we opted out this year. We really like this one anyway. Happy Mother's Day!

Is It Just Me Or Is It Cold In Here?

I got my dress for the ACM Awards today! It is perfect, and seems to have been made just for me. I got it at Johnston's, and while we were there, Mason kept asking me for quarters. He had this tiny little purse-like thing that looked awfully cute, but I explained that we probably didn't need it. He kept begging for it, and insisting (loudly and frequently) that it's what he wanted to buy me for Mother's Day. Now that I look back on every scene from the trip involving Mason and the little purse, it seems the sales staff were all a bit uncomfortable about the whole thing. When he had escalated to the point of whining and rolling around on the floor (not quite) over buying the little purse for me, I finally stopped to check it out. I should have stopped sooner. While I don't know the exact name for the little items inside the cute little purse, suffice it to say if I got cold during the ACM Award show, those handy, adhesive, flower-shaped things would have prevented anyone else from knowing. And no - they weren't space heaters. Thank you, Mason, for another mortifying moment.

Fun With Xanax

About 7 years ago, Blake and I planned a ski trip in Colorado. As we boarded the plane in Wichita, I got to our seats, made myself comfortable and then realized I was missing something. Blake. I excused me and pardoned me back out of the plane to find him just outside the entryway plastered against the wall. He said something to the effect of, "There's no way I'm getting on that deathtrap, tube of a coffin." We drove to Colorado.

Now that we've been invited to the Country Music Awards, Blake called the doctor for a refill of the Xanax he was given for the panic attacks he suffered from 7 years ago. He was encouraged to take one when we'd be around the house to make sure there were no strange effects, and that the drug would work properly. Here's where the fun begins.

Last night he took one pill at 5:15 pm and asked me to check with him in an hour. After about 30 minutes had passed, I asked him if he felt anything. He said he was fine, but felt like he was "Splurring his spleech." Hee Hee. After a full hour had passed the real fun began. Apparently the drug made him a little paranoid. He began to ramble about how stay at home housewives are the most likely to have internet affairs. I reminded him that he was completely welcome to dissect my computer at any time. He continued babbling about online dating, and said the strangest thing. He said, "Well how would you feel if I came home and said I was having a love affair with Keith Urban?" I cracked up! It made no sense, and I knew the drug was going to be just as fun for me as effective for Blake. Then he said that maybe the Xanax would give him the courage to talk to Martina McBride. But then he said, "I could remind her that the last time we were in the same room, she was wearing a cat suit." (There is some story about her working at a restaurant years ago at Halloween and Blake was there.) Whatever it means, I really hope that opportunity DOES NOT present itself.

It looks like the drug will do its job, and we should be boarding the plane together this time. I am also fairly certain that there will be several more bloggable moments as a result.

Oh - and this "free" trip isn't exactly remaining free. At last tally, we've spent $180,715.00! We had to use 90K frequent flyer miles which were rewarded on a dollar spent/mile earned basis. We got the last two seats on at least one leg, and with it being a last minute flight the rates were sky high. One of the side effects of the Xanax is increased risk taking. We went to Sheplers last night to look at boots, and somehow ended up with a pair costing more than my last Jag repair. Needless to say, I'll be looking for my dress at Goodwill!

Wordless Wednesday - Max Napping & Mason Playing

What Happens in Vegas

Blake and I are so excited! Last night we received an invitation to attend the Academy of Country Music Awards in Las Vegas in two weeks! Not only do we get to attend the TELEVISED awards show, we get to attend the New Artist Show and the after-party. I had serious trouble sleeping last night. We immediately went back on our diets full-force, planned our teeth bleaching schedule, tanning times and did a million google image searches on what to wear.

I was told that the women should wear cocktail dresses and the men generally wear Texas Tuxedos. I had to google that one. Turns out it's what I suspected - A tux top with jeans and boots. I always thought that look originated from my small, hometown prom, and it was because no one had enough money to rent the top AND bottom of the tux. Guess not. I should have known better since it's called the Texas Tux and not the Howard Tux. No matter - Blake's gonna look so hot. I've promised God that I'll honor my code of modesty, and wear something that covers my goods (right, Jana?)...but I do believe that God is OK with cute, so I'm excited to start shopping. Oh - maybe Sharon will let me borrow her Spanx...if she didn't ruin them by swimming in them! Ha!

We've heard that the after-party is fairly intimate, and it's likely we'll be elbow to elbow with the stars! We both admitted running through possible conversations and scenarios in our minds...and how horrible they kept turning out. Maybe we'll practice with each other. Blake can be Toby Keith and I'll be Carrie Underwood. That reminds me - I'm gonna have to keep my eye on Blake because he often refers to her as Carrie Underpants. I'd hate to have to kick her scrawny little...we're definitely going to get kicked out of the after-party.

One last thing - this morning I asked Blake if we'd gotten any great dresses in at the shop. We often do, and I can buy them directly from our customer. He said, "Yeah - one really cool one - but it's a size 1." I let an uncomfortable silence set in, and said, "You don't think I can wear a size 1?" And this is why I love this man - He quickly replied, "I figured you were at least a 2."

Where The Deer and the WHAT?

Today I took Max for his first professional pictures. The proofs look so cute, and I can't wait to get them back. He gave such big smiles and grins.

On the way home, Mason was singing a song from his Sunday School Songs CD. Here's what he was singing:
"Who built the ark? No one, No one. Who built the ark? Brother no one built the ark."
I asked him if he could tell me who built the ark. He said, "Noah." I asked him if maybe the song lyrics should be Noah instead of no one. He pondered it for a long time, and decided I was probably right...for once!

Here are a few other examples of Mason's mistaken lyrics:

Home, home on the range. Where the deer and the cantaloupe play.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found. Was blond but now I see.

And I was quite proud of him for singing this, completely unexpectedly, at Christmastime this year -
You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout. I'm tellin' you why. Santa Claus is coming to town except Santa Claus is just a story.
I quickly had him perform it again, and captured it on video (see below). I love the drumstick microphone and bathrobe!

On days when he is on my last good nerve, it's memories like these song lyrics that save his little neck! :)

Nostalgia and May Baskets

I've been experiencing a wave of nostalgia lately. It always seems to come this time of year. Growing up in the country, my brother and I had so much fun as the weather started warming up. We planted gardens, explored the woods, fished and a did million other "outside" things - all with no concerns of being abducted! I'm certain our mother had no clue where we were most of the time during the summer, but knew we'd show up when we got hungry.

One of my favorite things to do as a child was make May Baskets. On the first of May we would make baskets out of paper, fill them with candy and flowers, then deliver them to our neighbors and friends. This is a tradition I've passed along to my boys and they love it. Even Marcus still gets a kick out of participating. Maybe he just likes to eat the leftover candy - I don't know. Finding wildflowers proved to be difficult this year. Every square inch of rural Andover has been developed, so we "borrowed" some lilacs from a fairly remote area and picked a few other lovelies just one step away from being weeds.

Our neighborhood friends were delighted to receive their May Baskets, and I got my dose of childhood. Here's a picture of one of our baskets: