Better Him Than Me

Today at his flag football game, Mason lied about having to use the bathroom. Don't ask me why anyone would WANT to go to the port-a-potty that they keep out on the YMCA football field, but Mason thought he absolutely needed to visit. Blake and I both asked him several times if he really had to go, and he insisted that he did. Of course - when Blake got there with him - no results. There is no tolerance for lying, so Blake grounded him to his room and mentioned a spanking. Later in the day, I went up to check on him, and he had several sheets laying near his door along with some items under them. I asked him what the mess was about, and he said it was a trap so his dad would trip when he came up to administer the aforementioned spanking. I was shocked. I said, "Mason, why would you want your daddy to get hurt?" He replied, "Better him than me!" Priceless.

The Ring "Bear"

This weekend was Blake's brother's wedding in which Mason was the ring bearer. Awhile back he was upset to learn that he wouldn't be a ring B-E-A-R, but a Bearer of the rings. He'd even been practicing his growl. He and Quinn, the flower girl, were so incredibly cute. I was crying before anyone even entered the sanctuary, then about completely lost it when Mason and Quinn started down the aisle. At the reception a man told Mason that he should start his own ring bearer business. He could hire himself out since he'd done such a great job at this wedding. Another woman told me that Mason was possibly the most adorable child she'd ever seen. Seriously folks - not only was he so handsome in his tux - his personality was totally "on". He made some fast friends and even shook it on the dance floor. One of my favorite moments was on the way home in which these conversation took place:

Mason: "Mom, is boobs a funny word?"
Me: "Well...yeah, I guess it's kinda funny. Why?"
Mason: "Me and some boys were saying it in the bathroom and people were laughing."

Me: "I'm glad you made friends with Justus."
Blake: "Yeah - he was breakdancing on the dance floor."
Mason: "You should have seen him in the bathroom!"

I'm not sure what in the world was going on in the bathroom, but it sounds like a party of its own. Here's a picture of Mason and Quinn. When we get the professional shots in, I'll post more.

Skimpy Delicates

A few years ago Marcus noticed that Mason was playing with a fragile mug at my mom's house. He yelled, "Grandma, Mason is playing with your delicates!" Grandma rushed in to the dining room expecting to find Mason with her underwear, then realized that Marcus had misused the word. We all got a good chuckle out of it. Today there was a similar episode. Marcus was explaining to me why he had dumped trash into the wrong bin. He said, "I was in a hurry...I was out here in my skimpies." I assume he meant skivvies, but it was great for another giggle.

Veggie Tale Tragedy

The Veggie Tales were in town a few days ago, so I took the boys to see them live on stage. Things started off badly and went downhill from there. When Bob the Tomato came out on stage, he was missing a very important body part. And since Bob only had 3 body parts, EYES are pretty important! Someone quickly spun him around and stuck them on...and the show went on. That is until one eye fell off during the middle of one of Bob's lines later in the show. Several children gasped and some were afraid. Again - someone stuck the eye on, but this time it wasn't reapplied exactly straight. For the rest of the show, Bob seemed to be gazing up and to the right. It was odd. I laughed. Mason laughed.

One of my life complaints is the astronomical price of the poor quality trinkets at these shows. Every time we see Sesame Street, Wiggles, the circus or whatever...there is some spinning, light-up thingy that every kid MUST have. They cost $15 and last for about a minute and a half. Seriously. This time, I stuck to my guns. My daily Bible study had been on parenting, so I was armed. Mason begged and begged, but I was unwaivering. Enter God. A little boy and his grandma were sitting behind us. Toward the end of the show, the grandma GAVE Mason one of the light up thingys! She said they had two, and offered Mason their spare! He was super-thrilled! I seriously felt like God rewarded us. I'm certain she was an angel. Hey - and that's probably why Bob's eye fell off...I know God has a sense of humor and it was probably some sort of inside joke between Him and the grandma-angel-lady. Yeah - that's it. For the record - the light up thingy lasted until we got home. Even angels have to deal with the reality of the poor quality trinket issue.

Swimming Upstream

I finally purchased an Icthus/Ixthus (the Jesus fish) for my minivan. I have been so excited to put it on and made a big deal about exactly where on my van it should go. Marcus wanted to help, but I wouldn't let him be the one that officially stuck it on the van - I wanted to make sure it was right where I wanted it. Wouldn't you know it? I got it on backwards! I'm pretty sure they're supposed to face left, and mine is facing right. Now I've begun to worry that there's some weird religious sect out there that identifies itself with a backward Icthus. I have nothing to support this fear, but if it exists, leave it to me to join accidentally. I'm certain that my husband will be able to remove it and fix it, but somehow I'm not sure that fixing my upstream swimming Icthus will be very high on his to-do list. Maybe if I start chanting and handing out off beat religious paraphernalia, he'll take the situation more seriously.