Magic and Yetis

Mason asked me if magic was real, so we had a long conversation about why magic seems real and how magicians do tricks. I explained that the only "magic" we believe in is miracles - and that Jesus is the only one who can perform miracles. I know - lots of theology could be inserted here, but he's 6 and it's a good start. So...after my long explanation about magic he asks, "OK - but are Yetis real?".

More Mason and Max

This morning Max and the dog were sitting around the dog food bowl. Max would take one piece and eat it, then give a piece to the dog. I tried to dig the food out of Max's mouth, but he seems to like it and wouldn't spit it out.

At 11:30 am I told Mason that it was time to get ready for school. He said, "Great...let the torture begin."

Firemen and Hobos

This morning Max and Mason came downstairs at about 6:30 am and crawled in to bed with us. We snuggled and giggled and lots of gas was passed by the boys. Part of being a boy mom - enduring lots of gas. At one point, this was a conversation held between Blake and Mason:

Mason: "Know what I'm going to be when I grow up?"
Blake: "What."
Mason: "A hobo."
Blake: "I thought you wanted to be a fireman."
Mason: "Are you kidding!!?? That was before I knew they had to go IN to the fires!"

Messes and Moms

Today I got to thinking about messes. Specifically how many messes boys make and how many messes I cleaned up yesterday. For documentation's sake and the entertainment of my readers I will list them below. Warning: one of the messes is not for the faint of heart. Proceed with caution!

• We've been having trouble with our kitchen faucet. In fact, there's an entire blog post revolving around the day the cleaning ladies came and ended up soaking wet. Yesterday, the hose got stuck and Mason turned the water on full blast causing a jet stream of water to blast across the kitchen on to the ceiling. He got a horrible case of the giggles - the kind that immobilize you - so he couldn't move to shut it off. I was so stunned that I was a bit paralyzed myself but began screaming and trying to get across the kitchen to shut off the water. Max was in his high chair and in the path of the water arc. He wasn't getting terribly wet, but with all the commotion he was a little upset. I slipped and slided my way to the sink and got it shut down...and proceeded to clean up mess number one.
• After school Mason got a bottle of chocolate milk. He had consumed about half of it by the time we got home, so I asked him to make sure he didn't leave it in the van. We've had several bottles of milk end up "lost" in the van until the stench demanded a search! I went on in the house, and it wasn't long before I could hear Marcus and Mason fighting over whether or not Marcus was going to tell me something. Turns out Mason had dumped the leftover chocolate milk in to a water dispenser we have in the garage. There was no water bottle on top, so the milk went down in to the unit. I did make Mason help me with this clean up, but it makes this list at mess number 2.
• Blake and Marcus went hunting awhile back and Blake had left his muddy, bloody boots by the back door. At some point in the evening, one of the children put the boots on and tracked bloody mud through the living room. Lovely. At least it was dry and fairly easy to clean up...as if there's an upside to bloody mud in the living room. This was mess number 3.
• Now...I will confess that mess number 4 was my fault. But since it was a full blown mess, it makes the list all the same. I left a glass on the table within Max's reach. He got ahold of it and threw it at the television. It hit the table below and shattered. Mess number 4.

It must have been about this time that I simply sent all the children to bed. It's too risky to have them up and moving about. Being a mom is exhausting!

Kindergarten Visit

On Friday, I got to be the Family Fan in Mason's kindergarten classroom. I had asked Mrs. Pennington if I needed to bring anything or be prepared at all, and she encouraged me to simply "show up". I began to wonder if she and Mrs. Todd would just abandon me with all the kids and head to Starbucks for a break! If I were a kindergarten teacher I might consider that myself.

What a treat to be in their room for part of the day! Here are some things I came away with and some of my favorite, more memorable moments:

• C made two swords with Legos during table work time. He was wielding them around and M asked him what he was doing. C calmly replied that he's a ninja and was practicing.
• When J couldn't find a pencil in his folder the ENTIRE class chimed in to let him know it was in the back of his folder. J said, "Oh...silly me". Then L said, "I put the pencil there. I'm seriously magic."
• I got to sit on the carpet beside Mason during calendar time. This was quite a serious part of the day what with the weather report, tally marks, counting of school days and such. I was quite impressed with how each student participated so well in this section. About half way through, J turned around to me and out of the blue whispered very quickly, "My favorite show is Go Diego Go. He has a backpack that turns in to anything he needs"....and then quickly turned back around and went about his calendar work. OK.
• During carpet time, J kept scooting farther and farther back until he was nearly in my lap. He asked if I was staying for recess. I think he was asking me out.
• Mason drew a picture of a girl during table work time and put MOM on the top. He was so proud of it and we hugged when he showed it to me...until his favorite little friend Hannah showed up and he quickly erased MOM and put an H in its place. He then greeted Hannah and said, "Look what I made for you!". I was crushed. I think I'll ask Mrs. Pennington if she still has that drawing. What a fun keepsake from my trip to kindergarten.
• I left feeling like I couldn't wash my hands enough.
• I left feeling like I was surely coming down with something.
• I left with an odd feeling over the idea that someone else is teaching my child. I want to teach him everything he needs to know. I then wondered if God was planting a homeschooling seed. I then knew for sure that I was coming down with something!
• Mrs. Pennington and Mrs. Todd love their jobs, and I'm so glad Mason is in their class. They rock!
  
• I am so thankful that we can send out precious kiddo to a Christian school...a school that teaches Truth.
• And my favorite part of all...the children RAPPED their months of the year - just for me!
  

Bathroom Procession

A mom of young children cannot get a moment's peace. Not even in the bathroom, apparently. Awhile back I snuck in to the bathroom thinking that I could at least "use the facilities" without an audience. Wrong. The moment Max and Mason realized I was missing, they tracked me down. They stood outside the door yelling and banging on the door until I finally gave in and let them in. At that moment, chaos moved from the living room to my bathroom. Max began to unroll the toilet paper, all the while screeching with joy. Mason had brought a trumpet along (seriously) and began blowing a tune as loudly as possible. What can a mother do other than just sit there and giggle. It's at times like that when I would just LOVE for someone to call and ask, "So - what are you doing?".

Our New Digs

We've moved! Not out of our house, but out of our old blog spot. I decided my blog needed an update. As much as we're still a whole bunch of peas in a pod...I mean a blog - we've matured. We've grown. We've gotten bored of the old blog. I exported all of my posts from the old blog and begun a new adventure here at www.BoyMomsRock.blogspot.com If you've read my blog in the past, you know that I have a Boy Moms Rock t-shirt that Mason is quite proud of. If you're interested in the back story, you can read about it here. I'm a Boy Mom and proud of it...and now my blog proves it!

Technical Difficulties

I'm having some technical difficulties, so things look a little weird around here right now. As soon as I have some free time (Ha!) I'll get things back to normal...or maybe even make some changes!

Can You Hear Me Now?

Our home is loud. Not just a little loud, but really, really loud. And wild. People are surprised when they visit at how wild and loud it is in the Baysinger abode. Blake and Mason have God-given pipes that function at about 100 decibels. Max shrieks because it's fun. He is also in that stage where every item in the house is a potential drum. He slams doors, he beats on pots and pans, and even hits the dog with spatulas (I've witnessed this on more than one occasion). Whenever Marcus or I need to get anyone's attention, we then have to raise our voices over the aforementioned noise. Mason and Max both operate at full speed all day long. Again - our home is loud. And wild. But after living in the chaos for awhile one becomes acclimated to it and doesn't really think about it anymore. Until...

We had family over for Mason's 6th birthday party a few nights ago. Along with the standard showing of grandparents, aunts and uncles was the most special guest of all - our new nephew, baby Kier. He's just a few months old and is as precious as they come. I've considered throwing family parties just to see Kier, but after the birthday party, I'm not sure he'll ever come back. He hadn't been here 5 minutes before Max whacked his little cheek with a shoe. And that was just the beginning. Even though we are a loud, wild household, when it's a special occasion the Baysinger house takes it to a whole new level. At one point Mason (in his 100 db voice) was instructing uncle Jason on how to assemble his metal detector. Max was opening and slamming one cabinet door over and over and over again, and everyone else was trying to carry on conversations above the racket. The best part - baby Kier was happy as a clam. He just looked all around and was content as could be. He was born to hang out with us! And at the rate we run people off...he may be the only one! Here's a pic of baby Kier and the birthday boy:

Moonwalks For Fun...or not

Today was Mason's birthday party. Since his birthday is on Tuesday, we had his friends over today and then we'll have family over on Tuesday evening for yet another celebration. I absolutely LOVE birthdays, so call it overkill if you want to - it's just our style!

I had prepared for this party for quite some time. I sent out the coolest handmade invitations to a few hundred (JK!) of Mason's school friends.

I booked a giant moon bounce with a company here in Wichita called Moonwalks For Fun. The moon bounce was to look something like this:

The company said the moonwalk would be delivered and set up at 1:30pm. That allowed 30 minutes before the party started at 2pm. At 1:45 the moonwalk still had not been delivered. I decided to phone the company and hope that someone answered the phone on a Sunday afternoon. A man did indeed answer, and though it sounded like he was in a sports bar, he offered to phone his employee and find out where my moonwalk was. He said he'd call me back. At 2:15 I still hadn't heard anything and all of the guests had arrived. The children began badgering asking me where the bouncy thing was. Good question.

It quickly became obvious that the moon bounce wasn't coming. I didn't have a Plan B. Why in the world WOULD I have had a Plan B? Thankfully, I have the husband of all things Plan B. He brought out his giant camo hunting tent and the kids immediately piled inside. He brought out our old croquet set and the boys immediately turned the mallets into weapons. He set up the sprinkler and let them get soaking wet. At one point I heard the compressor turn on and when I went to investigate I found him inflating a gigantic weather balloon that he bought online awhile back when he got the urge to mess with the government. He inflated it part way and the kids rolled around on it in the yard.
It's odd. I realized later that my embarrassment about the whole ordeal was mainly in regards to what the other moms would think. The kids were having a blast. And all of the stuff Blake let them play with was free! The stinkin' moon bounce was definitely not free!

At around 4 pm I got a call from the moon bounce delivery driver. He claimed to have run out of gas and he was calling to let me know that he was on his way to set up. I suggested he not bother as all of the children were GONE!

After we'd cleaned up the yard I put Max in the bathtub. Mason decided he'd get in, too, and added enough water to turn on the whirlpool jets. Unfortunately he also added too much bubble bath and when I went in to check on them all I could see of little Max was his curly blond head!Cup

Cupcakes are fun! And messy! And make cute pics for the birthday boy's mommy's blog!

Whut Whut

There's a song in the air at the Baysinger house tonight...and I have Mrs. Pennington, Mason's kindergarten teacher to thank. This is not a sweet song. This is not a lovely song. This isn't even a cute little whimsical song. This song is the rap version of the months of the year, followed up by a very ghetto "Whut Whut". Apparently the actions for the "whut whut" involved a mummy type pose because Mason was practicing it earlier (for the 500th time thank you Jodi) and asked if I had any Egyptian music I could turn on. I'm not kidding. His too white mama tried to sing along with him, but he stopped mid "Novemb-uh" to inform me that I wasn't doing it right and that my voice sounded weird. Sometimes I feel guilty for not posting more Godly things on my blog - I'm a women's ministry director for Pete's sake. But when you live in a family that is this much fun, it just has to be documented! So for the record - we're a God lovin' Jesus followin' family. We're not, however, learning our Bible stories from Veggie Tales. Mason told me yesterday that he doesn't believe a word they say. "Who can believe a cucumber and a tomato?"!

Bang Trim = Rocket Science

I NEVER go anywhere to get my hair cut that has a sign in sheet or has multiple locations in strip malls. But today I desperately needed a bang trim. I should have remembered Marcus' experience at Great Clips. He went in for a simple trim and the woman spoke such little English that a co-worker-slash-translator had to come over and help her understand what Marcus was asking for. He ended up with the straightest bang trim I'd ever seen - all his hair combed forward and cut straight across his eyebrow line. He was mortified! I thought it would be super convenient to go right next door to eDrop today and get a quick bang trim. Unfortunately - the luck of the draw gave me a woman who also spoke very little English. I kept telling her I just wanted a TINY amount cut off. It must have been the word "texture" that confused her. Maybe texture sounds like "cut all my bangs off" in her original language.

New Seat Assignments

Mason came home from school yesterday excited to report that he had a new seat assignment in the kindergarten classroom. I asked him if everyone had been moved. He said, "No - just a few of us that needed a better view of Mrs. Pennington." Considering the fact that Mason is the tallest kid in the class and his "new view" is from the front row, I'm figuring a visit with Mrs. Pennington may be in order.

Blogging Vs Facebook

A few months ago I got sucked in to the black hole known as Facebook. It's so much fun to connect with people I haven't seen in years - especially some old friends from elementary and high school. But - there's something lacking. You can't really write on Facebook...just short little blips about what's going on in that moment. I miss documenting the crazy life the Baysingers live. So I'm back to blogging. I'll keep up with Facebook, too. But I want to preserve the memories of our wild family - Lord knows I'll never remember everything that goes on around here. I need documentation! That said - here are a few random updates:

• We had our first garage sale. Blake is such a privacy nut that I thought he'd NEVER allow strangers on our property. For heaven's sake he ran off the Schwan man! But there is one thing he values more than privacy and that's a profit.
  
• Marcus bought my Jaguar. We gave him a healthy discount off the actual value, and since he's been such a good saver over the years, he had enough cash to get it done!
  
• I reminded Blake that I bought him a new Corvette when he turned 40. I turn 37 this year, so I'm figuring only 3 more years in the mini-van!
• Mason's birthday is coming up and we're hiring the moonwalk company to come out with a giant moon bounce inflatable thing. He's really excited. I hope it isn't a germ infested funk pit like the one that used to be at the Severy Labor Day celebration. I plan to disinfect the thing from top to bottom just in case - H1N1 doesn't stand a chance!
• Max is the most adorable thing in the world. He still doesn't have much hair which keeps his baby look - I'm thankful for that since he's my last kiddo. He just has a few wild blond curls and I can't imagine that I'll ever cut them off. Maybe I should have named him Samuel. He's babbling up a storm and repeats everything we say. His favorite words other than family members are Gee-go for yogurt, Seek-o for popsicle, and Dee-do for cookie. See the theme? He must have inherited my sweet tooth.

It's good to be back in the blog-o-sphere!

Updates

Random Updates:

• Max broke his wrist falling down a few stairs. It's just a minor fracture, but he has to wear a cast for at least 4 weeks.
• Mason is at Spanish Camp this week. I'm not sure how much he's learning, but he's having a great time. They have a fiesta on Friday and the parents get to come watch a little program. He's mostly excited about the pinata.
  
• Marcus is spending the entire week downtown living as a homeless person. His youth group is volunteering at one of the shelters doing manual labor, eating at the soup kitchen and sleeping on the floor of a church's basement. No showers, $5 per day period (unless they panhandle) and no electronics. I can't wait to see if his entitlement level is affected.
  
• We visited Marcus and the other kids tonight as they were walking home from the Lord's Diner after dinner. They were so excited because it was "burger night". Blake was approached by a homeless man who explained that he needed money for his asthma inhaler. After Blake gave him a little money, the same guy was later spotted with a brand new cigarette above his ear. Maybe that's part of his asthma therapy...who are we to judge?
• Some neighbors down the street reported that Mason had been going door to door promoting his new band. He was inviting them to our garage to be a part of it. I knew he'd passed out some flyers, as Marcus and I had retrieved one before the homeowners found it. Unfortunately, we didn't realize he was actually ringing doorbells. I really need to keep a better eye on this kid.

Swimmy AKA Big Ted

Last week Mason caught a tadpole. His dad let him bring the thing home, and Mason promptly named him Swimmy. I love how little kids name their pets so descriptively. White dog gets named Whitey. Black cat gets named Blacky...etc. Anyway - Swimmy took up residence in a Pyrex bowl on the center island in the kitchen. After a day or two I noticed that Mason had changed Swimmy's name to Big Ted. That makes no sense according to the descriptive naming technique. Swimmy was definitely not big and there was nothing "Ted" about him. Who cares, though, because Big Ted has to be the funniest name I've EVER heard for a tadpole! By about the 4th day, Big Ted began to swim across the bowl and butt his head against the glass over and over. We convinced Mason that Big Ted needed to return to his natural habitat. Mason was so sad. He cried and cried which made the rest of us feel so sad, too. Mason decided that we should hold some sort of service in remembrance of Big Ted. I suggested we do it the next morning before school, but Mason informed me that we wouldn't have enough time then, as this would be a fairly long service. He even scheduled bathroom breaks for us! In the end, he painted a portrait of Swimmy AKA Big Ted and hung it in his bedroom right above his nightlight. Each night he can go to sleep as Big Ted is illuminated by a red and blue glow. Being a mom is so much fun.

Someone For Everyone

Blake & I went to see Star Trek tonight. I've never been a fan of the series, but the movie was absolutely amazing. I wanted to be supportive of my Trekkie husband, and offered to wear my hair in braided buns like Princess Leia. Oops...wrong Star show.

In general, I'm pretty tolerant of people. In fact - as I'm working with the public, I often get a kick out of the craziness I witness on a regular basis. However, there are two things that I absolutely cannot tolerate. One is stinky people and the other is people making mouth noises as they chew food or gum. At the movie tonight we sat by a man who smelled and his wife who popped her gum. I was in hell. I overheard the man say that he'd been fishing earlier in the day. My bait radar sensed shad sides. The woman had a real gift for the gum popping. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever heard someone pop their gum so loudly. She drowned out the destruction of the planet Vulcan with that chomping action. I tried glancing her way once. I tried glancing her way every time she popped. I tried dramatically swinging my head her way. I tried ESP. I tried stuffing my hair in my ear. I am not kidding. Finally I resigned to putting my hand over my left ear and holding my nose with my right hand. It worked and I was able to enjoy most of the movie in peace. I wonder, though, does the husband simply not hear the popping and does the wife not smell the fish bait? Or - were they destined for each other? Maybe he is hard of hearing and she has a limited sense of smell. I've always been of the opinion that there is absolutely someone for everyone. This is confirmed by Siegfried and Roy. If two gay, lion tamers can find each other in this big, big world...there is hope for everyone.

Angela Who?

I'm not sure who Angela M is, but I've ended up on her email forwarding list. I DESPISE most email forwards, but in the confusion of figuring out who this Angela person is - I opened her last forwarded email and found a pretty funny group of pictures. These are my personal favorites:

Funny Mother's Day Story

We are not cat people, but my friend Jana sent me this Mother's Day story about a cat and it's so funny that I can't help but post it on my blog.

So, we had this great cat named Jack. The kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He was 10 years old, and he used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.

We also have three kids, and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES IT.

He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.

Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up.　　

Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood. We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom.　　

And there was Eli. He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . .rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped."

Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right, their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind, or the hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat' s butt.

Dictionary.com

My boys have discovered dictionary.com. Now before you imagine scholarly young children looking up meanings to difficult words and expanding their vocabulary, let me explain just WHY they love the website. They discovered that when you look up a word, not only are you provided with the definition, but there is also an icon that, when clicked, speaks the pronunciation. There are two words that I have heard over and over and over tonight. Follow these links and then click on the little volume icon after the syllable breakdown of the word. Welcome to the life of a mom in a house full of boys!
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=diarrhea
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/poo%20poo

A Torch!?

Mason just called me at work, and I think it's worthy of a blog post. Here's how the conversation went:

Mason: Hi, mom. Remember when Marcus did that experiment at Grammy's? He had...(at this point I'm only half listening because Mason often calls me at work and rambles on until I tell him I have to get back to work. I thought that's how this conversation was shaping up)...ice, tin foil and a torch...
Me: WHAT?
Mason: You know - ice, tin foil and a torch. I have all of those things laid out, but I can't remember what other things I need.
Me: A Torch?! Where's Grandma??!!
Mason: Putting the baby to sleep in his crib.
Grandma: I'm here, I'm here. The torch doesn't work, and he's trying to talk me in to giving him the one that's up on the shelf (that would be Blake's heavy duty shop torch!). Don't worry - everything's under control.

Under control - with Mason in the picture - yeah right! Life at the Baysinger house - never dull.

Volume Control

My friend, Sharon, shares a hilarious story on her blog about a three year old in a public restroom, and it made me think of a funny Mason story. Imagine that!

When Mason was about three, it seemed that every single time we went in to the Family Christian bookstore, he would have to use their restroom. AND - it was always a #2 trip - never just a quick potty. I'll never forget one time in particular. It was almost closing time, and the employees were all in the back of the store right outside the restroom. I was inside with Mason as he was completing the task at hand. Out of blue, in full Mason volume he shouts, "MOM...we don't EAT poop!" I was mortified. I turned up my own volume and said, "Why would you say that? No one's eating poop!" I opened the door a bit to make sure EVERYONE could hear and said again, "No one's eating poop!" At that point, the store manager walked by, and I have a feeling he hadn't heard Mason's original comment based on the look of complete bewilderment on his face.

I hurried Mason out the door leaving our intended purchases behind - along with any sliver of pride I had left. What possessed that child to have to poop every time we went in that store, I'll never know. I'm just thankful that stage is over, but I still avoid eye contact with the store manager whenever I'm shopping there. It's not that difficult - he seems to be avoiding me for some reason, too!

Happy Easter

Because lots and lots of visitors attend our church on Easter morning - not to mention the Creasters (attend on Christmas and Easter only) - we opted to attend the 8 am service today. The fact that 8 am attenders were lured with donuts was by no means a factor in our decision...I promise!

Mason was eating one of the aforementioned donuts during the worship service when Max spotted it. He began pointing and saying "dee" which is his all-inclusive word for anything he wants. Mason generously gave him a very small bite and Max was hooked. He began aggressively signing the word "more", and because I was so proud of him for using his sign language skills, I let him keep signing and eating donut bites. After about 5 bites, Mason decided he was done sharing and stuffed the ENTIRE amount of remaining donut into his mouth. No kidding - it was over 1/2 the donut! There was an older couple sitting behind us, and the man got so tickled he was laughing out loud.

I didn't mean to disrupt the Easter service. But since most people at the early 8 am service are old time believers anyway - I think it was OK. Plus - don't tell me that God doesn't get tickled at two brothers fighting over a donut...especially when one of the brothers ends up with chipmunk cheeks!

Baysinger Firsts

This weekend, Marcus had his first official date! Kaylie is a friend from school, but it looks like they're taking it to the next level! I got to act as chaperone...which means I sat in the backseat as Marcus drove to the dinner destination, got out and drove myself home, drove back to pick them up and then got back in the backseat. Marcus took her to the country club for dinner - he said he wanted to start by setting the bar high. He was such a gentleman - opening her door and such. She is a sweet, Christian girl. I love her and already have wedding invitations picked out!

Today Max kicked a ball for the first time. I'm sure he could have done it before, but he really gave it a good kick today and it was so fun to watch him chase it and keep kicking! He also said his first two word sentence. He was looking at a photo of Marcus and said, "Dat Bubba". Precious!

Now...why is it that Mason's first is the wildest, funniest first? Why does this child test my patience every single day? Why, why,why? Max had a doctor's appointment and Mason went along. As we were in the little waiting room, I was trying to keep Max out of the hazardous waste, and when I turned around Mason had climbed up on the exam table, pulled out the stirrups (yes...those stirrups) and was lying on his back, knees bent with his feet in them! I shrieked because the site was just so bizarre. Mason is now upset because of the look on my face, so he gets down and slams them back in the table (metal on metal = loud). I'm just thankful that the doctor didn't come in right then. When he finally did come in, he said he was going to look in Max's mouth, and went toward the tongue depressors. Mason said, "You're welcome to just use one of these", and he pulled out a bunch that he'd swiped from the canister. I hope those don't end up on our bill!

More Mason

Mason: Is it illegal to kiss girls?
Uncle John: (laughing) Why?
Mason: There's a policeman at my school, and he's been watching me.

Mason: How do you get old?
Me: What do you mean?
Mason: Like - how does your skin go from being young and normal to old and crunchy?

If the students in Mason's preschool class get all of their table work done, then they get to play in various centers. Mason NEVER gets his table work done because he visits and daydreams.
Me: Did you get to play in centers today?
Mason: Yes.
Me: That's great - you got your table work done!
Mason: No - I snuck in.

Me: When you play at school, do you play with the boys or girls?
Mason: I play with the girls when they play house.
Me: Do you help protect them against the bad guys?
Mason: No way - I AM the bad guy!

Spring Break

Spring Break at the Baysingers...

• My brother, his wife and daughter along with my boys and I took a minivan ride to visit our dad near the Lake of the Ozarks. It was a short visit, but a good visit. Max had their house destroyed within the first 5 minutes of the visit, and I'm sure they'll have to call in a housekeeping service to restore things.
  
• We stayed at a resort that looked lovely on the website. I guess the website must have been built in 1985, though.
  
• There was some sort of concert going on in a ballroom near our room, so I was lulled to sleep with a combination of Max's crying and a bad rendition of "Moon River".
  
• I have always and will always love a good outlet mall. Osage Beach has a great outlet mall and I came home with receipts to prove it...well - I destroyed the receipts, but I have a closet full of stuff to prove it.
• Max's bottom DOES NOT double as a credit card machine, though Mason attempted to swipe his room key card to find out. Debit or credit? Poor Max - it's tough being the baby.
• Mason is a daredevil and proved it on the water slides at our hotel. Yes - there was an indoor water park!
  
• I will always be a small town girl at heart. ElDorado Springs, Missouri could be my new hometown. There was a small grocery store in which you could actually FIND the things you want - unlike our new Dillons that sells furniture and vacuum cleaners, for pete's sake! And when we stopped at Sonic, I noticed that almost every car had its windows rolled down and the occupants were visiting with the people in the cars next to them. So small town.
  

Bus Driver Drama Part 2

It appears that there are a few pieces of the "Foxy" puzzle that I inadvertently omitted in my previous post. I've decided that they are worth sharing.

First - it turns out that the photo that "Foxy" shared with Marcus from her glory days (as she calls them) was a boudiour photo - sort of like a sexy Glamour Shot from the 80's. Seriously - it's bad enough that Marcus had to see the photo, but imagine him trying to smile and respond politely as she's showing him the photo on the bus route!

Second - when Marcus was in the principal's office, he was asked to bring up his Facebook account and show the things "Foxy" had sent him. Afterward, the principal hesitantly mentioned that he'd heard rumors of an unauthorized Facebook account some students had set up for him. He asked Marcus if he would help him find it, as he wasn't sure how to use Facebook and had never been on the site. Poor Marcus - he brought up the page and then watched in horror as the principal viewed this less than tasteful page. Does it get any worse than watching your principal learn that he belongs to an "anti-sex" club?

Marcus & Bus Driver Drama

The bad news - Marcus was stalked by his bus driver. The good news - he's become an instant celebrity at the high school!

I'm not sure how it all started, but I definitely know how it ended. On Wednesday I received a phone call from Marcus' principal informing me that he was now aware of the actions committed by the bus driver toward Marcus and that he would personally be driving Marcus home after school. Pause here to giggle at the thought of ANY high schooler being driven home by the principal for ANY reason.

A few days ago Marcus mentioned that his bus driver seemed to have taken a special interest in him. She was sharing stories from her "glory days" as she called them...even mentioning her nickname from college (Foxy!). She brought a photo from the glory days to show him, as she'd gained quite a bit of weight since then. I thought it was a bit odd, but combine the fact that I under-react with my warped sense of humor - I let it go. A few days later, Marcus reported that she wrote down her email address and Facebook name (while driving the bus with her knee and writing on a post-it!). This was a bit more concerning, but I understand that Facebook is "the" method of communication these days. It just seemed odd that "Foxy" would want to communicate with a high school Freshman outside of the bus route period. So my weird-o-meter kicked in a little bit, but Marcus wasn't concerned at all. That is...until "Foxy" sent him Mardi Gras beads on Facebook and requested that he throw some back at her! This was the same day that she changed up the bus route a bit, so that Marcus was the last one off the bus. There was also some confusion regarding whether or not she sent him a Playboy bunny icon gift online. We're 50/50 on that one, but that little nugget does come into play later in the story.

The day after the bus route change and Facebook incident, Marcus was retelling the events to some wide-eyed friends at school. A teacher overheard and forced Marcus to report the incidents to the administration. That's when I received my phone call and the principal drove Marcus home. My favorite part here is that the principal was having Marcus show him the original bus route and the route "Foxy" switched to. As they were driving along, they spotted her dropping off kids and both ducked for cover in the principal's truck! Can't you just see it!

So - like a rumor in the...well...halls of a high school, word got out that Marcus had been seduced by his bus driver. Instant fame. People were gathering around him in the halls and begging for the scoop. And remember the confusion over the Playboy bunny icon? Somehow word got out that the bus driver had actually sent Marcus photos of HERSELF in the magazine! Oddly - I think "Foxy" would be pleased. In reality - that's not even CLOSE to what happened, but the story was even better that way, and Marcus didn't mind the added attention.

"Foxy" has a new bus route after a short internal investigation. Marcus said that his new bus driver resembles a drill sergeant, and she informed him that it was unfortunate that he was sexually harassed. After all - sexual harassment is illegal. Uncomfortable first conversation, don't you think! In the end, Marcus is a rock star, I'm amused, Blake is proud and Marcus' mother is traumatized. And my blog is definitely not boring today!

The People Pleasing Mother

I'm admittedly a bit of a people pleaser. I think that most of us are - to some extent - except for my husband. He's the polar opposite. He enjoys upsetting people and creating enemies. Isn't that a great trait for someone who's job involves dealing with hundreds of difficult customers each week?

Anyway - for some reason someone in Mason's preschool class isn't particularly fond of me. I really don't know why - she just doesn't reach out to me like she does most of the other moms. She laughs and jokes with them, but barely nods my way. My friend, Jana, says that 10% of people REALLY like you, 10% REALLY DON'T like you and the other 80% are ambivalent. Well...I strive to be an overachiever, so I'm determined to move this person into my top 10%...or AT LEAST a little higher in the ambivalent group.

One of my ongoing plans involves working very hard at making really cool projects for the class. For instance - on Kansas Day I got up at the crack of dawn and made a sunflower cake for the class. Here's a pic:
My next plan involves forgoing the standard paper Valentines and helping Mason make these incredible, over the top Valentines. Aren't they the cutest thing? "I Dig You" written on plastic shovels with bags of chocolate tied on.What child won't be completely thrilled to receive such a treasure? This will surely prove to this person that I'm a mom who goes the extra mile. You know - it just dawned on me that maybe she's irritated with my continued elaborate showings. Maybe she thinks I'm showing off. Oh dear - time for plan B. Anyone? Help!

Random Wednesday

Random Funnies...

Mason: "Mom, do moths eat sweaters?"
Me: "Yes."
Mason: "Well then I'm never going to buy a moth because I have a sweater!"

Mason: "After you sing (karaoke) Gunpowder and Lead, I wanna sing Jesus Loves Me."
Talk about diverse musical performances!

The scene in my car today caused a few passersby to do a double take. We were at a stop sign and I was massaging my temples. In the backseat Mason was playing a harmonica. Imagining how we looked to people driving by definitely caused me to giggle.

Picture Day

Yesterday I took Max to get new pictures taken. The first 4 or 5 shots were fine, and then - out of the blue - he began to scream uncontrollably each time the photographer took a picture. I'm not sure if it was the flash, the sound of the camera or if Max has an early ability to detect bad people, and the photographer leads a double life. Whatever the case, we got some precious pics...including one of a "throw myself down and scream" tantrum. And personally - I think it's my favorite!

Max Turns One!

My baby turned one on Sunday! What a precious little boy. He is incredibly cute - people actually stop us in public and comment on his "cuteness". He's walking a little more every day. He toddles around taking about 4 or 5 steps at a time...a little more adventurous each time. He only has two teeth - just the bottom ones. My mother in law keeps reminding me that the longer it takes for them to come in - the longer it'll take for them to fall out! I guess that's good. He must have Blake's teeth. One of my favorite things about Max is the way he high-speed crawls toward his daddy when he comes home from work each evening. Once he hears Blake's voice, he kicks it in to high gear and gets those little legs moving superfast! So cute! Here are some pictures of Max enjoying his first piece of chocolate cake. Happy Birthday, Baby Max! I love you.

Van Full of Somebody's Kids

In my last post I shared my joy re: the kiddo's return to school. While I love the little darlings, I was sure anticipating that first day after the holidays