Swimmy AKA Big Ted

Last week Mason caught a tadpole. His dad let him bring the thing home, and Mason promptly named him Swimmy. I love how little kids name their pets so descriptively. White dog gets named Whitey. Black cat gets named Blacky...etc. Anyway - Swimmy took up residence in a Pyrex bowl on the center island in the kitchen. After a day or two I noticed that Mason had changed Swimmy's name to Big Ted. That makes no sense according to the descriptive naming technique. Swimmy was definitely not big and there was nothing "Ted" about him. Who cares, though, because Big Ted has to be the funniest name I've EVER heard for a tadpole! By about the 4th day, Big Ted began to swim across the bowl and butt his head against the glass over and over. We convinced Mason that Big Ted needed to return to his natural habitat. Mason was so sad. He cried and cried which made the rest of us feel so sad, too. Mason decided that we should hold some sort of service in remembrance of Big Ted. I suggested we do it the next morning before school, but Mason informed me that we wouldn't have enough time then, as this would be a fairly long service. He even scheduled bathroom breaks for us! In the end, he painted a portrait of Swimmy AKA Big Ted and hung it in his bedroom right above his nightlight. Each night he can go to sleep as Big Ted is illuminated by a red and blue glow. Being a mom is so much fun.

Someone For Everyone

Blake & I went to see Star Trek tonight. I've never been a fan of the series, but the movie was absolutely amazing. I wanted to be supportive of my Trekkie husband, and offered to wear my hair in braided buns like Princess Leia. Oops...wrong Star show.

In general, I'm pretty tolerant of people. In fact - as I'm working with the public, I often get a kick out of the craziness I witness on a regular basis. However, there are two things that I absolutely cannot tolerate. One is stinky people and the other is people making mouth noises as they chew food or gum. At the movie tonight we sat by a man who smelled and his wife who popped her gum. I was in hell. I overheard the man say that he'd been fishing earlier in the day. My bait radar sensed shad sides. The woman had a real gift for the gum popping. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever heard someone pop their gum so loudly. She drowned out the destruction of the planet Vulcan with that chomping action. I tried glancing her way once. I tried glancing her way every time she popped. I tried dramatically swinging my head her way. I tried ESP. I tried stuffing my hair in my ear. I am not kidding. Finally I resigned to putting my hand over my left ear and holding my nose with my right hand. It worked and I was able to enjoy most of the movie in peace. I wonder, though, does the husband simply not hear the popping and does the wife not smell the fish bait? Or - were they destined for each other? Maybe he is hard of hearing and she has a limited sense of smell. I've always been of the opinion that there is absolutely someone for everyone. This is confirmed by Siegfried and Roy. If two gay, lion tamers can find each other in this big, big world...there is hope for everyone.

Angela Who?

I'm not sure who Angela M is, but I've ended up on her email forwarding list. I DESPISE most email forwards, but in the confusion of figuring out who this Angela person is - I opened her last forwarded email and found a pretty funny group of pictures. These are my personal favorites:

Funny Mother's Day Story

We are not cat people, but my friend Jana sent me this Mother's Day story about a cat and it's so funny that I can't help but post it on my blog.

So, we had this great cat named Jack. The kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He was 10 years old, and he used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.

We also have three kids, and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES IT.

He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.

Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up.　　

Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood. We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom.　　

And there was Eli. He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . .rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped."

Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right, their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind, or the hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat' s butt.