Oh Yes They Call Her The Streak

I serve our church as Treasurer of our Leadership Team. Periodically I get to address our church body regarding financial "stuff" and today was one of those days. I am so excited about Expedition Hope - the name of the building campaign on which we're embarking. More about that later.

A few months ago, I gave a brief financial update to our congregation. We have around 800-900 in attendance on a Sunday during our 3 services, so while I'm not too scared to speak publicly, there sure are a lot of eyes staring back! Right before I went up to give my talk during the 2nd service, my good friend, Jennifer Barclay, walked up beside me as we were standing and singing and said, "Don't freak out but your skirt is completely ripped out in the back." Don't freak out?!?! To appreciate the magnitude of this situation, know that I was 8.5 months pregnant and had stuffed it all into maternity pantyhose for the occasion. It wasn't pretty. Needless to say, I went ahead and freaked out. But it was about 30 seconds before I was up, so I just put my papers behind my back and sidestepped toward the stage. I have no idea how my presentation sounded because all I could think about was the view the poor Worship Team had as they stood behind me. Bless them all.

Fast forward to today. Remembering my last experience, I checked every stitch, possible loose button and seam today as I got dressed. I gave my talk in the 1st and 2nd service and all seemed to be moving along smoothly. Until...yes...until. Until I dropped my baby off in the nursery and one of the workers informed me that the zipper on my pants was open! She'd noticed it as I spoke in the 2nd service, but couldn't really tell for sure based on the angle from which see could see me. When I came into the nursery, she confirmed her suspicions!

I can see that God is keeping my pride in check, but must he use complete humiliation in the process? I'm concerned that the body is going to start thinking I have exhibitionist issues!

And you know the worst part? The offering on the day my skirt was ripped was the 2nd highest of the entire year! Imagine the jokes that I endure from the rest of the Leadership Team over that. Hey - maybe after today's incident, we'll end up with the entire 3 million bucks we need for the new addition. Just joking God - pride is in check!